Junior High Flock-In

Ten reasons why we should never have lock ins:

10. It is ungodly for any adult to have normal lives, jobs, and expectations during the day and then be expected to be coherent until 6 a.m. with a load of monsters.

9. Someone always ends up pregnant.

8. Everyone over the age of 21 loses their sense of balance at midnight.

7. There's always a way out and I know the three boys who are going to find it.

6. Everyone over the age of 21 loses their ability of basic comprehension at 12:30 a.m.

5. Does Jesus really approve of male/female co-existence after dark?

4. I don't make sense in normal conditions. How can I be any help now?

3. It smells like body odor and burned popcorn.

2. It's old skool just like Sunday skool.

1. They like it!

Oh, My Femurs!

Eleven years ago today, I, Lindy Nardoni, traumatically subdued with antisthetic, underwent the latter of two surgeries that miraculously changed the way I walked.

The torture began at birth. Little did my parents know that the child that slipped ever-so-delicately from my mother's womb would be an insurance accident waiting to happen. This baby had legs that turned in from the hip. What appeared to be slight pigeon toe, with an easy solution, turned into years of bruises, scrapes, and scoffles. (Boy did I ever look ridiculous when I ran.) Ten years old and 55 pounds later, I was taken to Riley's Children's Hospital to be knocked out and attacked. The doctor performed a bi-lateral femoral osteonomy; which means, they cut an incision six inches long on each leg, shredded and stripped my muscles to reach my femur, sawed my femurs completely in two, twisted my legs until they were straight, and then secured the two severed halves with a stainless steel plate, four screws, and a bolt headed into my hip. I had to learn how to bend my knees and walk again. After months of rehabilitation and with my bones strengthened they set up a appointment to have the hardware removed.

And eleven years ago today, I marched back into that hospital and allowed the pain to reoccur. Only the recovery time was not as long.

And yes, I still have the hardware.

And yes, I am aware that most of you would not be my friends if I still walked that way.

Napoleon Dynamite

Some have heard of this film, many have not. Friends of mine in New Hampshire saw this movie nearly six months ago and I was shocked to discover last weekend that it was finally playing in our friendly neighborhood town of Quincy, IL. People have been raving about its hilarity. Throwing all caution to the wind, Lucas and I went into the movie this evening with deep-seeded anticipation of viewing a cinema graphic masterpiece...well, the best one can expect from MTV and Fox. We were not disappointed. The movie, based sometime in the early 90s represents every highschool's stereotypical know-it-all nerd who insists on making sense, friends, and money with his anything but attractive habits. What the movie is about? Well, the jury is still out. Trust me, it's worth the six bucks for a few laughs, freakin idiot. Gosh!

Sweet Dreams

I woke up this morning in a panic. It wasn't a nightmare or a headache as it had been the night before. No, it seemed much worse.

I had this sensation that my faulty memory and my drunken-like stupor of sleep deprivation may have resulted in various telephone conversations throughout the night. I could vividly recall talking to my Dad, Hillary, and later Nikki.

The call history on my phone revealed nothing of the sort. I should be relieved that I didn't actually call them in my sleep, but I am deeply disturbed that I would be capable of such a thing and not be able to remember.

How on earth do people feel when they wake up next to someone they don't know...