How Do You Like Your Marshmallow?

Have you seen When Harry Met Sally? Sally is big on sides. She wants her salad dressings on the side, her vanilla ice cream on the side, her best friend on the side. This morning I realized that although my preferences may not require ingredients on the side, there are a few things that I am quite particular about when it comes to food.

For instance, I like marshmallows: big ones, small ones, pastel ones. However, if I'm toasting one at a campfire, I place the forked, puffed food in a warm place where it can cook "low and slow" just as a seasoned griller may cook his steak. If it burns, I give it away. It must remain white or a very light brown, but most importantly it must be all goo within. Then, I rarely enjoy the typical s'more unless, of course, I am successful in a particularly gooey marshmallow that will radically melt the small piece of chocolate on the graham.

As for small ones, at one time I would have preffered to treat myself with a thick layer of small marshmallows melted across the top of my hot cocoa drink. Last night, I discovered that I actually don't like the combination. I would much rather eat the two seperately.

Did you know it can take me an hour to make tuna fish salad? I hate fish. I hate the taste, the odor, and the fact that every doctor wants me to eat it to bring down my cholesterol. I like tuna fish salad, but only if it doesn't look, taste, or smell anything like it's actual form. Therefore, I take whatever measures necessary to disguise the fish factor.

• Step one: Open white albacore in fresh water can.
• Step two: Hold breath and dump can into strainer.
• Step three: Rinse for a few minutes while pressing the meat with a fork to eliminate any fishy flavor.
• Step four: Spoon in a glop of miracle whip. Keep the spoon handy in case more needs to be added later.
• Step five: With a second spoon add a healthy portion of relish.
• Step six: Finely chop some onion and add it to the mix.
• Step seven: Stir. Taste. Add ingredients as necessary.
• Step eight: Refrigerate in an air-tight container as to not smell it when the fridge is opened.

I like chocolate milk, chocolate ice cream, and chocolate syrup, but I absolutely hate milk chocolate bars.

I thoroughly enjoy unsweetened hot tea, but abhor unsweetened ice tea.

I have to hold a napkin everytime I eat, but rarely do I actually use it.

I will hum the most annoying part of a song because it annoys me, but usually don't realize I'm doing it.

If I hear someone clicking a pen in church I will have strong driving desires to snap off their hands, but I sit their with a content look on my face and swing my legs to distract myself.

So, my question is this: How do you like your marshmallow? What makes you unique - or distractingly obnoxious?