September's Post

Sometimes change isn't so bad. I can honestly say that a year ago, I would be in turmoil over the lack of permanent housing and potential joblessness, but today I feel great!

After a fabulous vacation home, I returned with a spirit of distaste towards my job. Yesterday morning I trudged into work with a heavy heart (this always happens after a visit with my family, it takes me a few days to realize that I can make it without them right next to me, and then I'm back to normal) and immediately sat down to make a note in my planner: CRUNCH NUMBERS - DETERMINE HOW MUCH $ I NEED TO MAKE. An hour or so later I was scribbling down characteristics of my ideal job. I tucked the note into my planner with anticipation of tending to it later this week. By 3 pm, I was standing at the sink thinking that I should just walk into my boss' office and say, "Look, this isn't working for me anymore." Startled by my impulsive thoughts, I shoved the idea aside as nonsense, but managed to utter a prayer that my employer would initiate a conversation with me, that the "answer" would be obvious, that I would no longer be wondering if I should stay...or if I should go.

Within the hour, it happened. Tai Kwan Do called me into the other room and point blank asked me if I wanted to pursue a new career. Without hesitation, I said yes. (Honestly, I think he realized that they don't really need me here. I have managed to alleviate the tasks and mundane activity from his plate, but it isn't anything that the other employees couldn't do. After all, they don't "need" an office manager anymore. They need a programmer. And a programmer I am not.) He has offered to help me get to a point of departure, allowing me to stay with the company until January, complete two years with the company for my resume, and giving me time to take a class if I so desire. We won't be burning any bridges.

I am at peace with the situation. Anyone who has heard my stories, my anxiety, my frustrations knows that this is a wonderful thing. Staying in NH? Probably. For the past year I have known that I am not staying for the job. I am digging roots (that very well may uproot later in life). I love my experiences, my friends, my ministries... Until God pulls me elsewhere, this is where I'll stay.

So, I may be the only person who is truly relieved about losing a job. How could I not be? I am more excited about my photography business potential. I am already dreaming about a trip to see some friends on the West Coast in January. I see God closing doors and that can only mean one thing. He's on the move.