Flaming Yawn

Summer. Sun. Water. Swimming Suit. Things just got ugly. If I could ever in my life be of the masculine species, it would be when I have to buy a bathing suit. That's right...there is NOTHING good about shopping for a new suit. FYI, contrary to popular belief, the world is not run by 5'10" 120 lb models who would rather throw up their food than eat it. Therefore, I think it atrocious that every store in every town in America insists that they sell the smallest pieces of clothing possible and expect us to feel good about ourselves. Serious problems arise when the "how to wash tag" is the largest identifiable piece of fabric attatched. And how does anyone of any shape have a successful trip with such inhibiting circumstances? It's wretched I say, absolutely wretched.

I made such an unfortunate trip today. Target was a disappointing sell out. So, it was on to Kohl's for a more significant search. None of the tops fit. The bottoms were either too small or too big. One piece suits? Unlikely. Heaven forbid they sell one piece suits without hip-brimming skirts! For those of you (boys) who have never enjoyed the endeavor, I should let you know that we have to wear our "undershorts" when trying on the sad specimens. Each crotch is lined with a diseased sticky strip that reads "Please wear undergarments." Today one stuck to my inner thigh and RIPPED my skin as I removed the suit. Ridiculous.

One a positive note, I found a cute one and I feel half-way decent about it. Time to enforce those crunches!