Musings in the Middle of Nowhere

Today

2012-02-01T11:27:00.000-05:00

This morning, I can't get this particular picture out of my head. I imagine this face, with a look of awe, joy, and contentment as Thao takes in the wonders, colors, and beauty surrounding him - cheering us on and waiting for us.

This photo was taken on a Day of Adventure in the Lincoln area only a few months ago. We had to reschedule once, but made it happen. We began at the Decatur Zoo and followed up with a stop at Gail's Pumpkin Patch. I kicked myself that whole day because I had packed my memory cards in another bag and missed out on a slew of photo opps at the zoo, but looking back, I got to participate with the kids that day. Everyone allowed me to stop by Target and send Brad in for an additional card so I could carry on my desired role and shoot away once we reached the patch.

Being a photographizer (as Brad calls it) is a double-edged sword. While I do "miss out" on the interactions - aka literally throwing children in the air with Jeff and Brad - I get to see into the soul and feel moments happening that others missed out on. As I put Thao's slideshow together, I could FEEL him looking back at me, totally allowing me to stick my lens in his face. I got the same, sweet acceptance from Ava the morning of Thao's Celebration of Life. In fact, she downright posed, but I'm sure no one is surprised by that. :)

Today, I really miss him. Today, I am thankful for the past three years in Illinois. Today, I wish responsibilities like bills would melt away so I could spend time, unlimited time with my loved ones. Today, take a photo of something you love. Today, now, is what we have. Don't squander it.

"Live like you'll die tomorrow, die knowing you'll live forever." - Rich Mullins

To experience our Day of Adventure visit: http://thewayyouare.zenfolio.com/gailspumpkinpatchfall2011

More Than a Brother

2012-02-01T11:25:00.000-05:00

Sunday, January 1, 2012 at 7:34pm

You were three years old once. Do you remember what it was like? For me it was 1984 (yes, also the year Brad was born *sigh*) and quite frankly I remember very little. What I have been told, was that from day one, I was in LOVE with my baby brother, who came as I approached the age of two. When Mom shuffled into the car's back seat that first ride home, I flipped over the front seat and reached into the back to get my first glimpse at Jeffrey. Our bond began instantly. He was my baby and he was going to be my best friend whether he liked it or not.

I can still hear Mom belly laughing while retelling the stories of those days... Jill Ritter had just gotten a baby and now I was going to have my own and he would not be left alone on my watch. We lived in a home that was narrow and long. Mom had been in the kitchen cooking her amazing food or cleaning up after our crummy little fingers had disgraced every surface. I was on baby watch in the front room. At the time, our home was carpeted and Jeff was about to have the ride of his young life. Determined to keep him with me at all times, I grabbed him by the ankles and dragged him down the house, through three rooms, until we safely arrived at Mom's feet in the kitchen. Content little guy had rug burns on the back of his arms and head!

And then there was the day that Mom didn't hear Jeff escape from the house, realized it was far too quiet, and looked out the front door to find me protectively holding him in the middle of the street with a van at a complete stop next to us. Jeff had out-smarted the screen door latch (Sound like anyone else's child?) and toddled into the path of oncoming traffic. I barreled out after him and just held him until Mom arrived.

And thus began our adventures...

Like the reasons Mom had to attach bells to Jeff's shoes, add a high latch to the front screen door, use a timer for video gaming on the Commodore 64, or be prepared to call 911 when he first spider-manned his way up the door jam. We played cowboys and indians, school (somehow I always managed to end up as the teacher bossing the poor kid around), read books by flashlight in the tunnel under his bed, rode bikes around the block and down secret paths, recorded fake radio stations, "Slip 'n Slide!", climbed the crab apple tree, climbed the dogwood tree, planted flowers, saved bunnies from Nacho, helped Dad take x-rays, went sledding, played in the snow and came back into the house to put our numbed fingers on Mom's warm tummy, played baseball in the empty lot behind our house where Jeff insisted on pretending like the ball was going to come at my face just to drop it behind his head (and people wonder why I flinch at everything!), visited the neighborhood's elderly, attended school together, rode the bus, played in sports, played the piano and guitar together, caught frogs camping, climbed massive dunes, laughed hysterically, married off, said goodbye, moved away, talked until wee hours of morning, cried together, held each other, loved one another...

And this is why it pains me to look into those bright brown eyes of Miss Ava Lillian. I, too, had a best friend in my brother and whether three or 30 years old, those things will never change or be lost. So, as much as this is about Jeff, it's about that little girl who is deeply pained because her big brother, her lifelong friend, is so very sick. Her reality has shifted and now sharing has become much more difficult.

Please pray for Ava tonight.

And Jeffrey, I love you.

The Caring People

2012-02-01T11:19:00.000-05:00

Saturday, December 31, 2011 at 2:56pm

Thao has been connected to machines for three weeks now. As Tiffany said last weekend, who would have thought that dialysis would be the least of our problems? Having just returned from PICU where we spent a few moments with Thao, I wanted to take a moment to assure everyone of the care he is receiving. Medical staff from Children's Hospital of Illinois have been working around the clock, through vacations, even on days off to find answers and solutions for our nephew. They are monitoring every moment of his dialysis, ecmo, and multiple medications. Picture plates on poles and they are spinning each one to make sure he is not only safe, but that he can get better. This same team of specialists and nurses are so humble and empathetic of this five year old boy that they have been consulting with other specialists nationwide including the HLH Hospital in Cincy and St. Jude's (OSF St. Francis is a St Jude's affiliate and work they together regularly). The doctors and nutritionists (all professionals) feel as many of us do...restricted. Thao has to stabilize before treatment and nutrition can begin. So in your prayers today, pray for stabilization, that together the many doctors across the country can keep those plates spinning, that Thao will be without pain and discomfort, and that Mom and Dad will continue feeling warmth and confidence.

God is using your prayers every minute! Thank you from all of the fam!

http://www.childrenshospitalofil.org/

Today with Thao and Tiffany

2012-02-01T11:17:00.001-05:00

Sunday, December 25, 2011 at 12:15am

Today I was struck with a variety of emotions. Several of you upheld me in one way or another until I was able to reach the doors of room 423 of Illinois Children's Hospital. A dear friend called to pray with me on my way to the hospital and one of the things she asked for was God's peace that surpassed all understanding. A few miles later, Cara and I approached the sliding glass doors. After pulling the door open, and subsequently causing an alarm to sound, we made our way into a room of warmth; of peace. I literally cannot explain the calm I felt in the room full of machines, wires, tubes, beeping, nurses, and a quiet little boy lying under a mountain of blankets and stuffed animals. I shouldn't have been surprised, not with Jeff's most specific prayers of peace to soothe his child, his wife, and his heart. Jeffrey whose first name means "God's peace" and a middle name meaning "Harmony" and "Rock." Tiffany. Tiffany, my dear, sweet, sister-in-law who has been a sister to my heart. In fact, it often freaks Jeff out how similar the two of us are. It was a wonderful blessing to have a few hours of time with my friend, my kindred spirit. My heart melted as I watched her reach for her baby and comfort him with words of encouragement and love. Thao was responsive for a part of my time with them. He nodded when Tiffany asked him if he would like to play with Uncle Brad and the new nerf gun. He nodded when I told him he was strong and doing a great job. I'm not sure if this note is for me or for you, but what I can tell you is that God's presence was in that room. He is there with Thao. He is with the nurses, doctors, Jeff, Tiffany. So, for those of you who have hearts torn as you feel restless, helpless, or disconnected, be encouraged this Christmas day - Our Lord who was born this day - or in May if you're to ask Brad :) - is ever-present and guarding the children he loves so dearly. He has answered your prayers and is wrapping them with grace, love, and faith.

Isaiah 9:6-7

6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
7 Of the greatness of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this.

Merry Christmas

Our Sweet Thao at OneTrueMedia.com

2012-01-26T15:01:00.001-05:00

Thao's life was short in expectation, but full in adventure, creativity, family, and love. We will miss you, little man.

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

When is it YOUR turn?

2011-07-27T22:34:00.004-05:00

Most of us have been there or are going through it; that day when you’re dating and everyone asks the question, “When is it YOUR turn?” Then, you get married. Most people are content for a minimal amount of time before the next question arises, “When is it YOUR turn?” You pop out one kid and they want to know when the next one is coming.

So it begs the question…what happens when you’re done having children? What does everyone want from you then?

That is the scenario.

There are rules for this sort of thing. Exceptions. People who can get away with it. Misconceptions. People who think they should be able to get away with it. Absolutes. And those who really have no business. Period.

Category 1: Exceptions

You are in this category if you are immediate family, extended family and friends who act like immediate family, in-laws, or good friends of deceased mother.

Rule: You may ask. However, when the individual has appropriately answered your question (ex. Soon, I don’t know, We’re talking about it, Not right now, Never, Yesterday) you respect the answer. It can one day lead to further discussion, but until said individual has updated you with “anything new” or bringing up the subject willingly, proceed under the guidelines of strict respect (which may mean shutting up when you would rather not). I know, you’re thinking, “In-laws?” but I happen to be blessed with incredible in-laws who follow this rule well.

Warning: Being in this category organically does not mean that flippant foolery will keep you safe. The subject in question has every right to mentally reassign you to Category 2 at their will.

Category 2: Misconceptions

You are in this category if you got kicked out of Category 1, you are an acquaintance, distant friend (easily defined by being the one who is informed six months after “friend” gets married), or person who knows “dad” and then assumes you also have rights to such information.

Rule: You do not get to ask direct personal questions as you do not get regular updates or the juicy details of the person’s life from them directly. When you see the acquaintance years later, you may only ask general questions. Verbal probing is unacceptable. You may ask "dad." That is it.

Warning: If you ignore the rule and insist on knowing why the person isn’t making THEIR turn, consider this - you may be forever written off upon discovering that they can’t keep a job, can’t make babies, or can’t marry the guy because he’s obsessed with himself.

Category 3: Absolutes

You are in this category if you were booted here from Category 2 for emotionally scarring the person for life, a coworker of the opposite sex, or a carny.

Rule: Just keep your mouth shut.

Warning: If you don’t, this person has no loyalty to you and can make your life a living hell in return.

May this be a good reflection on your own behavior, even if you're the one under scrutiny.

(all images by yours truly)

What if Judy Nardoni had written a blog?

2011-01-25T16:55:00.004-05:00

I often suppress the fact that I cannot recall all that my practical mother taught in her years of life to other family and friends. In her attempt to be a godly wife, mother, and friend, she often fulfilled lives with open ears and words of truth and wisdom. As I get older and come into situations unknown at the young age of 18, I wonder what Mom would have done or said. To my friends trying to juggle, train, and grow multiple young children, what encouragement would she have bestowed? To my loved ones with loss and depression, what love would she have poured? To those with crisis in marriage, work, or church, what would she have prayed? What did she share with you?

Introspection

2011-01-19T17:26:00.007-05:00

What do you do with the reality you’ve been handed when your perception has been so wrong?

Where do your thoughts go when trust has been broken only to find out that you were at fault?

Why do you continue fighting love when it’s the only thing that will replace your pain?

When do you open your eyes and notice nothing has changed?

Merry Christmas from the Belleys!

2010-12-22T16:25:00.002-05:00

As the most wonderful time of the year draws inexorably closer, we are reminded of the trials and blessing from the past years. Although our previous Christmas letter was undeniably funny, this year we decided to take a more straight forward approach. BULLET POINTS!!!!!!

2009

• Lindy procured employment with Integrity Data, Inc in downtown Lincoln. She holds the title of “Business Services” aka Job Security.
• Brad shifted employment from Fastenal to a weld shop to the line at the “Box Factory” to Logan County 911 Dispatch which he currently works for. He tends to speak to the population that only comes out in public for the county fair.
• Brad changed from Lincoln Christian University’s undergraduate Business Administration major to their Hargrove School’s Leadership and Management major. This is an adult program that allows him to work full time while taking night classes.

2010
• A run-in with the crazy downstairs neighbor at LCU’s Student Housing, who accused Lindy of not being a Christian because of our placement of the ironing board, encouraged us to begin house hunting.
• Lindy celebrated her golden birthday…29.
• House signing + possession = WALLS TO PAINT!
• We got babies! Lindy’s Gramma helped fund the adoption of two, adorable kittens named Cool Breeze and Dirt Diver. It was the most dear and precious thing to do with Gramma, it brought her as much joy as it would have to see our own babies! The adventure was the final, precious memory we made with her as she passed away in August.
• Attended the death-defying Belley family vacation to Rivermen in West Virginia.
• Our awesome House Warming Party was a success. Live music, great friends, delicious food. It may become an annual event, so keep the first weekend of October available next year.
• Eleven year anniversary of Judy’s death (Lindy’s Mom) came and went.

• Mark, Brad’s dad, had surgery before Thanksgiving that has left him on a long road of recovery. Please continue prayers of healing!

• Made a trip to New Hampshire to see the Belley clan.

• Brad turned 26 and now qualifies for the 26-40 checkbox on the church connection card.

• We got a special birthday surprise from Brad’s parents – Tickets to the Patriots v Bears game!!! Which the Patriots won, of course. :)

• Celebrated the Lord’s birth with friends and family.

Thank you for perusing your way through what could easily be confused with an office memo.

Each and every day we count ourselves blessed to be surrounded by such great people. Merry Christmas and God Bless!

Brad, Lindy, Cool Breeze and Dirt Diver

"Can you ever just be whelmed?"

2010-04-19T21:38:00.000-05:00

Meet Cool Breeze and Dirt Diver. Brad and I picked out these two adorable kitties on Saturday. They are currently residing at my work in a spare office (thanks Patrick!) until we can take them to their new home this weekend. Having the little creatures around has certainly caused me to laugh at a time when I would otherwise shut down. We are quite excited to move into our new home, but the responsibility that lies ahead is a bit daunting. Not to mention, Brad's work schedule has him gone most evenings when we would likely be working together on a project. I'd like to think the house is causing stress and the cats are causing relief, balancing me out to a "whelmed" feeling.

Back to packing.

Inkin' Lincoln One Tattoo at a Time

2010-04-11T10:46:00.000-05:00

Where will curiosity and offerings of free food get you on a beautiful Saturday afternoon? For me and Brad, it will walk us into the Grand Opening of Styx Tattoo in Lincoln.
I can always count on Lincoln to make me giggle. There is nothing quite like a ribbon cutting ceremony containing red-coated Chamber Members surrounded by bikers and their ladies in corsets. Ahhh, now that is a sight to behold...

In the days leading up to the opening of Styx, I have had many conversations with people who are concerned with the clientel it will draw to our otherwise homey, quaint square. There have been valid concerns and support voiced along the way. In my own experiences, I have met many kind-hearted individuals who choose to turn their body into a canvas. They have never been a threat to me. (Of course, most of them are musicians or youth ministers.) However, I work next door to this new venture and wanted to know what it is about.

The owners appeared very friendly. You can count on the fact that they are going to be running a tight ship. They have already stated that under no circumstances will they tattoo a minor, nor will they "ink" anyone who appears intoxicated with drugs or alcohol. They have a very clean establishment. They are well-situated on a college town square (and we all know how these Christian College students act when they breathe in the scent of freedom) where a majority of LCU report to never have visited. From a sheer business perspective and in regards to growth of commerce in our small town, unless they tatoo and piece all of their potential clients in a few months, I have no doubt that this establishment will be around for a long haul. With the way they intend to operate, I have determined that I would rather have a place like this in town than another bar.

Truthfully, their presence is difficult for me to accept because I am not typically comfortable in the atmosphere of said parlors. I enjoy the quiet personality of our downtown and hate to see it littered with neon signs and flashing lights. Will I avoid that corner at night if people are hanging around outside? Absolutely. Will I try my very best not to judge the people I see going in and out of there? Yes. I encourage you to do the same.

So, welcome to town, Styx. Try not to disappoint us.

Moving Again!

2010-04-07T15:50:00.004-05:00

You are reading this correctly. We are packing up all of our things and moving yet again. This time, however, we will be relocating to our "new", old and crappy house! *That is what Brad calls anything with character and charm. Now you know what I call him.

Many of you know that we have been enjoying the Midwest Life as a married couple: we both appreciate our employment, we like the community, and we really, truly soak up the slower pace of life. So much that we have decided to make Lincoln our home indefinitely.

This means a number of things for our immediate future. 1) We have the obligatory packing to do. 2) We have repairs to make, walls to paint, and floors to refinish. 3) We have a month to do it, but with Brad's newest hours and our upcoming family vacation, neither of us will be available at the same time. How will I be able to reach and lift? Who will keep Brad focused and motivated?? Needless to say, every spare minute we will be sinking our fingers into the project.

We invite you along on our journey. Hopefully, we will have some interesting stories and humorous images to share. Please let us know if you have any desire or time to help out. The pay isn't great, but the company and homemade cookies are to die for!

*Closer to May, we will be notifying family and friends with our change of address and phone numbers.

My Midnight Warrior

2010-03-20T21:53:00.001-05:00

3 a.m. Lindy hears noise like someone came into their apartment. She waits and hears more noise, turns to awake her husband by the whispering of his name, "Brad." No response. "Brad!" Still no response. She shakes him gently, then more, then violently. Finally he awakes, "Wha?" "It sounds like someone is in the apartment. Go look." He finds his glasses, stumbles out of bed, bounces down the hallway walls, comes back with nothing to report. "It sounded like someone came in the door," She said. "Well! That was dangerous! You should have told me first!" Um. "'It sounds like someone is in the apartment' isn't enough warning?"

I love conversing with my husband in the wee hours of morning. I feel so safe!

Uninspired

2010-03-04T16:45:00.003-05:00

Lately I have been utterly distraught with the fact that I'm not writing. It was always an outlet for me and quite enjoyable, to say the least.

Could it possibly be that my life has slimmed in interest, it's too full to pick apart the details, or I'm just plain boring?

Personally, I think the blogging community has changed. Facebook and Myspace have ruined our desires to follow one another. *Sigh*

Howdy Neighbor

2009-10-08T16:13:00.001-05:00

Never has the movie Fried Green Tomatoes more fully described my life until now. Brad and I recently noted our one year anniversary of moving to Illinois. We have experienced a pleasant time, especially at the student apartments.

When we had first moved in, we were the only people in our two-bedroom building that did not have children. I loved it! The evenings were peaceful and the days are filled with joyful sounds – even when the kids were not getting their way.

That is, until last week, when two girls moved over from the dorms. We have been harassed on a regular basis as they insist we are trying to be inconsiderate and rude by walking to and from the rooms in our home. Apparently, they expect us to float about the place, never touching the floors to make a peep, never dropping things by accident, and never living a normal life.

Well, yesterday I’d had it. I was helping Brad clean out his closet and a book slipped out of my hands (at 5 pm, mind you). After girl #1 yet again banged on our floor with her broom, I marched myself downstairs and made it clear to her that we are doing normal life activities in the privacy of our home, that she can submit her complaints to the apartment manager, and under no circumstances is banging on her ceiling acceptable. She informed me that we were not going to talk about it and proceeded to slam her door in my face.

So here is my question to the disruptive, passive aggressive souls of this world – Why on God’s green earth do you insist on behaving in such a way and then not expecting repercussions? Why, at 5 in the evening are you bullying me for cleaning my apartment or dropping a book when at 2 in the morning, you have your loud friends over without a care? Why would you think that you bother no one, but that the world is out to get you?

This fiery little Italian girl, daughter of the acclaimed, spicy Judy, simply wants to live in her apartment without being paranoid. Apparently that is too much to ask.

So, in the words of Kathy Bates, “Face it girls, I’m older and have more insurance! TOWANDA!”

Photography Galleries

2009-09-03T15:30:00.000-05:00

The Way You Are
Portrait, Wedding, and Event Photography
Email lindy@eNardoni.com for pricing.

School Buses, Sweet Corn and Anniversaries

2009-09-03T15:16:00.000-05:00

I have a new disdain for school buses. In our apartment complex, if I am leaving at the same time the bus arrives, I get trapped as the driver insists on stopping the bus directly behind my obviously-reversing vehicle. The children should be congregated prior to her arrival, but without fail, someone is running late. Which means, I'm now running late.

Brad made huge strides this summer. He will now eat corn on the cob, rather than cutting it off. Congratulations, honey!

Yesterday was our 2nd anniversary. Today is the year anniversary of my first interview with ID. Tomorrow is the year anniversary of making the decision to bail out on SFG. All decisions that led me here today.

Tolerance Level: 0

2009-09-03T15:09:00.002-05:00

I'm noticing that as I grow older and gain more experience in life and the workplace, my tolerance for individuals weakens. This particular week, I have been working amongst some of the most trivial, junior high behaving, immature men. Frankly, I dealt with this a number of times in NH as a volunteer in church and in my Christian-based office, but rather than dismissing it as human nature, I find myself making angry fists and groaning as the tension in my shoulders thickens. Guess this is why they encourage us to use our medical reimbursements. Chiropractor, here I come.

Twister

2009-08-21T15:21:00.004-05:00

Wednesday, August 19th, Sangamon and Logan Counties were slammed with an EF3 tornado - wind speeds up to 140 mph and a diameter of 1/2 mile wide in some locations. Several families lost their homes and crops to the devastating forces. Needless to say, this was definitely one of the highlights to my interested, morbid mind. Brad got to see the 9 mile rotating cloud from our apartment balcony as the storm cell headed Northeast towards the small town of Beason. The tornado dissolved into the sky before taking any more homes.

The summer has swiftly passed and I am trying to reckon what I have to show for it. Brad and I were able to visit NH in July, I have assisted Michael Gowin in E-sessions and weddings, and Brad has registered for the Hargrove School at LCC where he will be studying Leadership and Management.

If the weather is nice, we'll be taking our first hot air balloon ride during the Logan County Art and Balloon Festival! I'd include the logo, but I think it looks dumb.

It's About Time... Update

2009-04-07T15:34:00.001-05:00

The week has increased in loveliness, but only after random spurts of snow, which we have miraculously and quite nicely been without since the beginning of January.

Brad is wrapping up his first semester at Lincoln Christian College. His business classes have been enjoyable and the friends he has made are keeping his social tank full. In March, he joined a group of students on a mission’s trip to Knoxville, Tennessee where they framed homes for Habitat for Humanity. (During which time, my dear friend, Cara, kept me entertained and well fed.) He still works part time for Fastenal, but is seeking supplemental income for the summer. If you hear of anything opening, please let us know.

I have been working for Integrity Data just over three months. Angie, my coworker, teacher, and friend, has been doing a wonderful job teaching me new concepts in Accounting and training me on the procedures we use at the office. They have also dubbed me Photoshop Girl, Scully Building Photography Girl (a building my boss purchased off the Town Square), Donut Retriever, and just the other day I was presented with a miniature door…still not sure what that is all about. We have daily Foosball games, birthday sing-a-longs (which really should be outlawed), a never-ending candy dish, and lots of laughter to spread around. Needless to say, it is one of the best places I could have ever chosen to spend eight hours a day. (And we get real work done too!)

Brad and I have been enrolled in Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. We are in Week 3 of the program and moving right along. There have been tears, laughter, and gnashing of teeth, but we wouldn’t trade the experience or the wisdom we have gained and will continue to cultivate.

My love of photography and the endless possibilities therein, continue to grow. This summer I will be spending some time assisting in weddings with my mentor. Brad continues to be a significant part of my business, surprising me with equipment and always being along for the ride. It really excites me to have him on board with my adventures.

The family has certainly been a blessing – near and far. We miss Brad’s family like crazy, but know that our time apart will soon be remedied with a visit of some nature. It has been wonderful being near my family again, watching the little ones grow up with a closer perspective.

And friends...where would we be without our friends? These are the people who have to deal with us on a regular basis and continue seeing us! These are the people who have held our hands through stressful situations and laughed with us through silly situations. They don't have to, but they do anyway. We appreciate you.

It's About Time... Update

2009-04-07T15:31:00.000-05:00

The week has increased in loveliness, but only after random spurts of snow, which we have miraculously and quite nicely been without since the beginning of January.

Brad is wrapping up his first semester at Lincoln Christian College. His business classes have been enjoyable and the friends he has made are keeping his social tank full. In March, he joined a group of students on a mission’s trip to Knoxville, Tennessee where they framed homes for Habitat for Humanity. (During which time, my dear friend, Cara, kept me entertained and well fed.) He still works part time for Fastenal, but is seeking supplemental income for the summer. If you hear of anything opening, please let us know.

I have been working for Integrity Data just over three months. Angie, my coworker, teacher, and friend, has been doing a wonderful job teaching me new concepts in Accounting and training me on the procedures we use at the office. They have also dubbed me Photoshop Girl, Scully Building Photography Girl (a building my boss purchased off the Town Square), Donut Retriever, and just the other day I was presented with a miniature door…still not sure what that is all about. We have daily Foosball games, birthday sing-a-longs (which really should be outlawed), a never-ending candy dish, and lots of laughter to spread around. Needless to say, it is one of the best places I could have ever chosen to spend eight hours a day. (And we get real work done too!)

Brad and I have been enrolled in Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. We are in Week 3 of the program and moving right along. There have been tears, laughter, and gnashing of teeth, but we wouldn’t trade the experience or the wisdom we have gained and will continue to cultivate.

My love of photography and the endless possibilities therein, continue to grow. This summer I will be spending some time assisting in weddings with my mentor. Brad continues to be a significant part of my business, surprising me with equipment and always being along for the ride. It really excites me to have him on board with my adventures.

The family has certainly been a blessing – near and far. We miss Brad’s family like crazy, but know that our time apart will soon be remedied with a visit of some nature. It has been wonderful being near my family again, watching the little ones grow up with a closer perspective.

And friends...where would we be without our friends? These are the people who have to deal with us on a regular basis and continue seeing us! These are the people who have held our hands through stressful situations and laughed with us through silly situations. They don't have to, but they do anyway. We appreciate you.

I have a yob!!

2009-01-14T12:43:00.002-05:00

That's right folks, Lindy is finally employed for the long haul! I spent the past four weeks trying to woo my way into the hearts of people in Illinois. Starting Monday, I will be employed as a Whatever They Need at the Moment Assistant. The blessing lies in this... I will be averaging at least 30 hours (probably closer to 40 for awhile) which makes me eligible for the full time benefits of the company. Another blessing is that the work environment is one of the healthiest I have been a part of in five years. The commute may be what kills me in the long run as the company is located 3 1/2 minutes from our apartment!! I will need continued prayer as I set out on this journey of 8-5 life doing tasks that may not be my first love, but something I am trained well in, as I try to take on the burden as the financial means of the family, and attempt to support Brad in his studying efforts. Thank you for your encouragement! This is a gift at just the right time.

I have a yob!!

2009-01-14T12:42:00.000-05:00

The Past in a Nutshell

2008-12-23T00:15:00.000-05:00

So, you may be wondering what could possibly entice us from leaving the beauty of New England to live amongst the prairie of the Midwest… Shall we return to the beginning of our marriage? I’ve heard it is September 2nd, 2007 (a date I forget regularly for reasons unrelated to the fact that it was one of the best and biggest decisions of my life, so don’t be worried).

Brad and I moved into my apartment in Derry, NH following our fabulous honeymoon at Avalon Acres in Durango, Colorado. We made friends with several squirrels and cats that meandered past our generous outdoor food supply. Needless to say, we did not make friends with any of our neighbors as many of them refused to make eye contact. Only a few months later, we decorated for Christmas with a ten dollar clearance tree and partially working lights I managed to pick up for free at a yard sale. We began our marital journey simply and lightly.

For a first year of marriage, life ran rather smoothly. We awoke each morning for work, took advantage of the local library, frequented the Saturday matinee at our local theater, began attending Rockingham Christian Church in Salem, joined a wonderful small group on Mondays, spent many evenings going on “Hannaford dates” at the nearby grocery store, and nearly wet our pants with excitement when we discovered TWO Red Box locations within five minutes of our home (making a total of three boxes between my place of employment and home).

Then we got bored.

That isn’t unusual for the two of us. It began with dreaming of absurd relocations to the Northwest or putting all of our possessions in storage and cancelling our cell phones to go on several six month adventures throughout the country. Unfortunately, in the midst of our idealism we are realists to a fault. We would love to play, but we wanted to be wise.

Brad began taking online classes through Southern New Hampshire University. He had enough to increase his appetite for more, but realized that the amount would not be satisfactory in his current situation. I was on the fence with my job, knowing it was not a career I wanted, the only attachment being with people (who I miss very much!). We decided that Brad’s pursuit of finishing college was the direction we desired.

Within six weeks, he had been accepted to Lincoln Christian College, we put in our notices at work, and were packing up and heading to the Land of Lincoln! Ripping life-as-I-had-come-to-know-it like a band aid actually helped with the transition.

Brad will be studying under Michael Gowin (also our wedding photographer), and many other brilliant faculty, in the Business program. Classes begin January 15th. He has been employed part time with Fastenal, which is conveniently flexible and located only five minutes from home.

I am a professional job hunter. For the first two months I had filled my time as a temporary assistant for my friend’s grandmother (she is amazing!) and now am contracting for a month at a business conveniently located three minutes from home.

We have begun attending Lincoln Christian Church and will hopefully begin a small group after the holidays. We have been blessed by friends of my past. They have truly taken us under wing. Many of our weekends have been dedicated to traveling around the state (including Indiana) to see family and friends who have been too distant for the past five years.

So here we are at Christmas, one year later. We have a more interesting decorated tree in our two bedroom student apartment. There will be countless hours spent with family in the next couple of weeks. It is frigid.

And our life is peaceful.

Christmas Letter 2008

2008-12-17T23:26:00.000-05:00

Dear Family and Friends,

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from our new lives in the Land of Lincoln!

It is with great pleasure we announce the latest and greatest in our lives… The undertaking of our very own wind farm!! That’s right, upon relocating to the prairies of Lincoln, IL Brad decided that the little gusts of wind needed ownership, they needed a place to be trained, grown, and developed into the best wind the earth could ever want. This is also Phase 1 of “Going Green” for the Illinois Belleys. In Phase 2, we hope to restore the ancient Asian tradition of binding feet to reduce our carbon footprint.

Lindy has realized that the duty of a wind farmer can be quite demanding. She arises with Brad every morning to gauge the ferocity of the little wind pups. (Early on, we discovered that nurturing the wind from infancy provides greater opportunities for fine-tuning that may not be possible as say, teenage wind.) One of the hardest things to train a wind pup is how to drive rain horizontally while flicking water up and under umbrellas; similarly, driving dirt into open eyeballs is another skill quite difficult to master. Brad makes certain their training dust is always available.

It takes approximately three human months, or seventeen wind years, for a pup to reach maturity. We have yet to see a full maturation process, but the little guys have been budding into beautiful creatures right before our eyes.

You may be wondering, what’s next for the wind? Once a year, as a last hurrah, we let them run wild through a local trailer park. What they don’t realize is that it is also a final lesson in working together, forming an unstoppable force. But, the inconvenient truth is the bittersweet moment will be drawing near when we must release the wind to be harnessed by Al Gore. We know they’ll be in good hands and used to better the earth one breeze at a time.

It is our hope that this letter finds you in good health and joyful spirit for the upcoming Christmas season! And the next time you are frozen because of blustery gust of wind, ask yourself, did he have a cultivating home?

Blessings and Love, Brad & Lindy

To celebrate Brad's birthday we took
our wind to a local amusement park.

Quiet Times and Loud Moments

2008-12-10T17:08:00.002-05:00

It seems a bit contradictory that our lives can be so still and peaceful when all signs are pointing towards chaos and busyness. Brad and I have settled into a nice routine in Lincoln. While we experience stress in small pieces we also know that where we are is where we were meant to be.

It's much like the quality of quietly falling snow which can be suddenly whipped by the violent wind. The snow remains calm in existence, it is merely the circumstances surrounding the snow that make it appear wild.

Land of Lincoln Land

2008-10-23T16:13:00.002-05:00

Brad and I have made it a regular event to hunker down in the Warehouse for internet use and possibly to avoid the haunting responsibility of organizing the final, most abstract room in the house...the spare room. I like to also refer to it as the clutter room, the end-all room, the study room, Brad's clothing room, or the New Hampshire Room (thanks to Jeff Peterson for giving us a beautiful, green NH sign prior to our departure).

Today the air reaked of Decatur. If you've lived here, you know exactly what I am talking about. It's a sicky sweet aroma that wafts from the soybean factories of Decatur, IL. At first sniff it is almost pleasant. Then, the stench doesn't give, but gets seemingly stronger and more oppressive.

Now, it is pouring buckets outside.

Finale

2008-09-25T16:36:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow will be my last day at work.
Only a few will understand how liberating that moment will be...

In the Midst of Packing

2008-09-17T16:19:00.003-05:00

My husband and I have resorted to Kraft Spongebob Squarepants Mac n Cheese coupled with Pomme de Glace dessert wine from Montreal.

Yum.

We're Moving

2008-09-09T21:09:00.004-05:00

Whether or not you are familiar with demotivators, I highly recommend you click this link to despair.com and look up the following posters: Achievement, Adversity, Agony, Arrogance, Blame, Burnout, Challenges, Change, Conformity, Destiny, Disloyalty, Dysfunction, Elitism, Flattery, Get To Work, Give Up, Goals, Government, Hope, Idiocy, Ignorance, Incompetence, Indifference, Ineptitude, Intimidation, Irresponsibility, Limitations, Madness, Mediocrity, Meetings, Motivation, Nepotism, Pessimism, Persistence, Planning, Potential, Pressure, Pretension, Problems, Propaganda, Quality, Regret, Risks, Sacrifice, Sacrifice Temple, Sanity, Strife, Stupidity, Success, Teamwork, Tradition, Underachievement, Vision, Worth.

You have just summarized the last 9 months of my job and Brad's job. If it weren't so true, it would be funny. *Sigh* I'd like to go into detail, but in this age of Google, I'm traceable.

Brad has applied to LCC for the Spring semester and we have chosen to relocate as soon as possible so I can job hunt. We will be leaving NH the beginning of October and living in student housing until we can find something more permanent.

I'm exhausted, frustrated, excited, and optimistic. We hope to leave behind some demons and stretch forward in new adventures. We will most certainly miss our friends and family. Unless they disown us. Then we won't even remember their names.

Expelled: Intelligent Design

2008-04-16T21:40:00.003-05:00

Showing in theaters Friday, April 18th. Don't miss this one!

http://www.expelledthemovie.com/

Regal Cinemas Hooksett 8
100 Technology Drive, Hooksett, NH, 03106 Map It
(12:20), (2:40), (5:00), 7:40, 10:00

Cinemagic 15& IMAX
1226 Hooksett Rd, Hooksett, NH, 03106 Map It
Buy tickets from MovieTickets.com by clicking a linked showtime.
12:10, 2:20, 4:30, 6:45, 9:00

O'Neil Theatres - Apple Tree Mall Cinema 12
Apple Tree Mall, Londonderry, NH, 03053 Map It
Buy tickets from MovieTickets.com by clicking a linked showtime.
(11:30am), (2:00), (4:30), 7:00, 9:30

AMC Loews Methuen 20
90 Pleasant Valley St., Methuen, MA, 01844 Map It
(11:05am), 1:40, 4:20, 7:10, 9:40

Falange Fright

2008-04-14T13:18:00.001-05:00

I have joined the ranks of injured Belleys today.

This morning, I was quietly getting ready for my day, as to not awaken the sleeping Canadians in the next room. With my eye on the weather forecast, I performed a common task of many years - folding up the ironing board. With a squeeze of the lever, the legs slid upward, and then sheer pain coursed through me from fingertip to toe. I frantically searched for the release lever, but it was too late. My right ring finger was wedged and crushed into the board's lock position. Against all that is natural, I kept my mouth completely silent as the tears flowed and I freed my finger from its death grip. Blood poured from a crack in the center of my nail bed. The throbbing continues to this very moment.

I use this stupid finger more than I realized.

Preggy dude?

2008-04-05T22:32:00.002-05:00

I'm going to fight the urge to put a disturbing photo of a pregnant man on my blog. Just this week, I realized that pregnant mother photos kind of bother me... the man thing just sends my gag reflex into full force.

The world is in awe over the likes of this new story out of Oregon. But is it just me or are we really only talking about a woman with a serious identity crisis who has spent thousands of dollars for reconstructive surgery and an ungodly amount of horomones? After all, he is technically still a she. And she is pregnant.

No phenomenon there.

It must be Thursday

2008-04-03T14:10:00.001-05:00

I thought I had something brilliant to blog about...
And then work happened.

Now I can't remember anything.

Birthday Countdown...

2008-03-26T20:53:00.002-05:00

Sunday - I was served my favorite of all cakes...APPLESAUCE CAKE!

Monday - Evidence that the writer's strike has ended. Easter candy.

Tuesday - One whole year with MassMutual and Tom. Easter candy.

Wednesday - Worked overtime and watched the last episode of Jericho (on tape). Wept. Easter candy. Canker sore.

What could the rest of the week possibly bring me?!

Farewell to Another Goodie

2008-03-24T10:25:00.006-05:00

CBS has chosen to cancel my favorite show, Jericho, due to a lower number of viewers.

Here is a suggestion - air the show earlier so people will actually stay up to watch... At the moment, it doesn't come on until 10 pm when most East Coasters are settling into their evening routine and heading to bed.

Here is another suggestion - Lose Big Brother. Anyone who dedicates themselves to that trash should be smacked.

Problem solved. Get more viewers and push around some stupid people.

Why do they end all of the good ones? What can I do to bring it back? I feel so helpless...

Got it!

2008-03-13T13:27:00.001-05:00

Thank you, hubby, for my fantastic birthday present!!

I knew someone would give in...figures it was the one I cook dinner for. Well, sometimes I cook dinner for him. If you consider toast and cereal as dinner.

But I make some kick-a desserts!

Pa-pa-please?

2008-02-17T22:28:00.003-05:00

I need a new camera lens...and my 27th birthday is quickly approaching.

Any takers????

A few words - now that the shock is over.

2008-02-04T10:26:00.001-05:00

Props to Moss for a terrific game. He made his runs no matter the circumstances.

Last night we looked old. I hate to say it, because they are a team of veterans who are good at what they do. But 19th game in, they lost their speed. Another team was stronger.

Props to Brady for sticking with it to the last quarter. You can't throw if you don't have time to throw. He has to be hurting today.

Props to Welker - he's my man!

Come on Coach McDaniels, what the heck was up with the 4 and 13 attempt?!?! A field goal would have changed the game.

I blame..er, thank Brad for making me a Pats fan.

With this I go back into mourning...

one week to go

2008-01-27T00:09:00.001-05:00

Museum of Science

2008-01-12T17:01:00.000-05:00

I took Brad to the CSI exhibit for Christmas. Before our investigatory experience, we took a stroll through the halls of Boston's MOS. Is this not a great picture depicting the vessels and arteries of a dog? Definitely one of the most memorable parts of our excursion.

My Favorite Commercials on TV...

2007-11-14T11:30:00.000-05:00

An Early Thought

2007-10-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

October has most definitely arrived. The Red Sox are neck-in-neck with Cleveland in baseball, the Patriots are sweeping football nation in relentless attacks, and I’m trying to understand the passion without getting too close. I mean really, how do you avoid becoming a product of your environment while you’re trying so desperately to squeeze out the unique qualities of your surroundings? It seems impossible when everyone around you is a fanatic of some sort.

Just call me hum drum – although sports are enjoyable, the things I take pleasure in may seem more of a simplistic variety. I could sit for hours studying the behavior of my birds, squirrels, and stray cats. I thoroughly enjoy going to a quaint costal town and poking through their artisan shops – with no intentions of buying anything. Carrying around a camera for photo opportunities almost seems cliché out here – everyone expects a good photograph, but each one has already been taken – walk through two or three galleries and see for yourself.

With fall comes many changes. My music selection alters, the closet takes on a renewed priority, hot drinks replace the iced, the sun sinks earlier to provoke premature sleepiness, and my bed heavies down with thicker comforters. Outside, the animals are desperately searching for food to hide away, the crisp, morning air sends fog in flight over the many lakes and rivers, and there is fullness in remembering days past … a deep longing for family and friends to share in the new moments.

I suppose New England has a flavor of its own. Although winter is just around the corner, the festivities parade on, the brave squeeze in another camping trip, and the children glow with anticipation of apple-picking, pumpkin carving, and leaf peeping. Soon winter will arrive, my bones will cry out in frigid agony, and I will regret every time I have to leave the warming comfort of home to venture forward. Then the snow will fall, heavily. And the air will take on a crunchy sensation. The stars will be brighter than before, occasionally masked by a puff of breath. And we will moan in complaint until we look around us and realize the beauty – the unwavering peacefulness of freshly fallen snow, the snapping of evergreens beneath the weight of the flakes, the crystal wonderland.

It’s like nothing else I’ve ever known..

Folks, I've Done It.

2007-10-12T09:09:00.000-05:00

Last night I joined Mary Kay. Perhaps they needed a youthful face for the New England region, I don't really know. But, I do know that this opportunity will expand my photography contacts and I'm really excited about where this could take me professionally...

Get a facial AND a portrait! :)

Our Wedding Pictures!

2007-09-17T12:39:00.000-05:00

Our proofs are ready for viewing. You can get to them by doing the following:

1. Go to http://gowinphotography.com
2. Click "Client Ordering" in the upper right
3. Click on your event on that page

Just a Taste

2007-09-10T16:55:00.000-05:00

Some wedding pictures - MANY thanks to Michael and Suzanne Gowin!!

Chubby Bunny

2007-08-17T16:08:00.000-05:00

I was making a slideshow for our NH pre-ception* a couple of weeks ago and came across this picture with my mom. You think my mom stuffed my mouth with marshmellows to play that ridiculous party game, Chubby Bunny? She'd do something like that, you know.

*A party, similar to that of a reception which would normally be held following the wedding. This form of gathering was created by your's truly and her future mother-n-law when both agreed that planning a large event following my return from the honeymoon was the most illogical thing we could do. Hence the birth of aforementioned "pre-ception." (Not to be confused with conception.)

Curtis

2007-08-06T16:34:00.001-05:00

Today I mourn the loss of my companion, Curtis. We had a beautiful two years together and now we part ways as I had not long ago done with his predecessor, the Silver Bullet.

Curtis, I hope your new family appreciates you as much as I have. May they feel the connection we had. May they know what it is to regularly achieve 32 mpg. May they ride with you until you go no further. For you are worth it.

Universal Healthcare or Universal Suicide

2007-07-25T22:05:00.000-05:00

Cheese Headcases Wisconsin reveals the cost of "universal" health care. Tuesday, July 24, 2007 12:01 a.m. EDT

When Louis Brandeis praised the 50 states as "laboratories of democracy," he didn't claim that every policy experiment would work. So we hope the eyes of America will turn to Wisconsin, and the effort by Madison Democrats to make that "progressive" state a Petri dish for government-run health care.

This exercise is especially instructive, because it reveals where the "single-payer," universal coverage folks end up. Democrats who run the Wisconsin Senate have dropped the Washington pretense of incremental health-care reform and moved directly to passing a plan to insure every resident under the age of 65 in the state. And, wow, is "free" health care expensive. The plan would cost an estimated $15.2 billion, or $3 billion more than the state currently collects in all income, sales and corporate income taxes. It represents an average of $510 a month in higher taxes for every Wisconsin worker.

Employees and businesses would pay for the plan by sharing the cost of a new 14.5% employment tax on wages. Wisconsin businesses would have to compete with out-of-state businesses and foreign rivals while shouldering a 29.8% combined federal-state payroll tax, nearly double the 15.3% payroll tax paid by non-Wisconsin firms for Social Security and Medicare combined.

This employment tax is on top of the $1 billion grab bag of other levies that Democratic Governor Jim Doyle proposed and the tax-happy Senate has also approved, including a $1.25 a pack increase in the cigarette tax, a 10% hike in the corporate tax, and new fees on cars, trucks, hospitals, real estate transactions, oil companies and dry cleaners. In all, the tax burden in the Badger State could rise to 20% of family income, which is slightly more than the average federal tax burden. "At least federal taxes pay for an Army and Navy," quips R.J. Pirlot of the Wisconsin Manufacturers and Commerce business lobby.

As if that's not enough, the health plan includes a tax escalator clause allowing an additional 1.5 percentage point payroll tax to finance higher outlays in the future. This could bring the payroll tax to 16%. One reason to expect costs to soar is that the state may become a mecca for the unemployed, uninsured and sick from all over North America. The legislation doesn't require that you have a job in Wisconsin to qualify, merely that you live in the state for at least 12 months. Cheesehead nation could expect to attract health-care free-riders while losing productive workers who leave for less-taxing climes.

Proponents use the familiar argument for national health care that this will save money (about $1.8 billion a year) through efficiency gains by eliminating the administrative costs of private insurance. And unions and some big businesses with rich union health plans are only too happy to dump these liabilities onto the government.
But those costs won't vanish; they'll merely shift to all taxpayers and businesses. Small employers that can't afford to provide insurance would see their employment costs rise by thousands of dollars per worker, while those that now provide a basic health insurance plan would have to pay $400 to $500 a year more per employee.

The plan is also openly hostile to market incentives that contain costs. Private companies are making modest progress in sweating out health-care inflation by making patients more cost-conscious through increased copayments, health savings accounts, and incentives for wellness. The Wisconsin program moves in the opposite direction: It reduces out-of-pocket copayments, bars money-saving HSA plans, and increases the number of mandated medical services covered under the plan.

So where will savings come from? Where they always do in any government plan: Rationing via price controls and, as costs rise, waiting periods and coverage restrictions. This is Michael Moore's medical dream state.

The last line of defense against this plan are the Republicans who run the Wisconsin House. So far they've been unified and they recently voted the Senate plan down. Democrats are now planning to take their ideas to the voters in legislative races next year, and that's a debate Wisconsinites should look forward to. At least Wisconsin Democrats are admitting how much it will cost Americans to pay for government-run health care. Would that Washington Democrats were as forthright.

Planning a Marriage and What I've Observed

2007-07-12T14:26:00.000-05:00

Forget planning a "wedding." A wedding is but a mere kickoff to the more important marriage. I think Brad and I have had a good start at preparation for one of the most monstrous choices in our young years; but that hardly means we're perfect.

Here are some observations I've made in the last few months - just thoughts that may not pertain to everyone or every situation.

1. Young people are stupid. We attended A Weekend to Remember in April and were shocked with the number of teenagers who were present. They appeared oblivious to the simple instruction of paying attention to no one but your "spouse" while present and insisted on eating out with their friends. They squirmed when the teacher told them to discuss how they'll raise children, determine finances, and develop communication skills before marriage. We decided parents probably sent them as a means of intervention.

2. We're stupid - but we have awesome scores! Brad and I both know that the road of marriage will have it's bumps and consequential bruises and broken bones. Maybe it's the model of marriage that our parent's set up; but we have a positive outlook on the downward spirals that will undoubtedly ensue. We took an online survey/test for pre-marital counseling and our compatibility scores were outstanding! Our scores were so good, in fact, that they ranked us as "idealistic"....so apparently, because we know there will be hardship, but divorce is not an option we're idealistic about our marriage?? Backwards, but whatever.

3. Non-traditional or not; someone is going to make you crazy. Our wedding, by societal standards, will be anything but ordinary. It's inexpensive, fun, and I'm secretly hoping that someone will mess up their walk down the aisle - not in an embarrassing way, of course. But no matter how you look at it - someone or something is always going to urge you to insanity. I'm learning to pick my battles and address the issue whether I fight with swords or sticks. Half the insanity comes when you don't deal with "it." Whatever it may be.

4. Planning the wedding I "never knew I wanted" is actually quite fun.

5. Things are expensive. Don't let Aunt Ida or Papa Pete determine how you spend.

6. If you're going to do it halfway - don't do it at all. I've noticed that it's better to do a few things well than a lot of things poorly. Which is why we probably won't end up with any decorations... ;)

7. Moving things around for a new spouse to move in is a lot harder than I imagined. Last night I began moving my art and photography supplies into the spare closet to clear space for Brad's montage of button down dress shirts. I was actually sad about emptying my closet to make room for his stuff. I like the way I've had things set up... Too bad...

8. Brad will be top notch at reaching things on the shelves and unloading the car.

9. Take a flippin' honeymoon for crying out loud. I can't believe how many people don't and regret it! After all that planning you deserve a vacation!

10. Reply cards....reply cards....reply cards.... I will never misplace one again....

11. Planning a smaller wedding with the closest family and friends is by far the most exciting thing about our wedding. It will be a fabulous reunion of sorts!

That is all I have for the moment. I'm sure there will be more to follow.

Goodbye and Goodnight

2007-05-20T21:42:00.000-05:00

Grandma passed away today. Passed from years of pain into beauty. Passed from failure to perfection. Passed from unfulfilled desires to anticipated glory. Where she, the angels, and saints will forever praise our Creator.

Holy, holy, holy,
the Lord God the Almighty
who was and is and is to come.

Have you truly pondered eternity with God?

Getting Married

2007-04-16T18:03:00.000-05:00

Chances are, you won't be invited. Nothing personal. We're just assuring that the event will be small and intimate. (Not in that way, Tyler. You're such a pervert.)

What Lassie??? Are you telling me that Lindy has a job??

2007-03-27T10:23:00.000-05:00

That's right, folks. After a grueling four months, I have landed a job. And, as I had anticipated, it is through someone I know. I will be an insurance agent's assistant. There will be boring paperwork to do, but I will also get to design literature, select menu items for his seminars, and captivate his audience with promotional extravaganzas. My dad would like that part.

At the time, the job will only begin as part-time and work into full-time; however, I have in the last week been named babysitter, personal interior decorating consultant, and wedding photographer. Life is picking up speed again and I am getting excited.

Thank you for the prayers...this has been a long road with curves, bumps, and lots of beautiful scenery.

When Thrifty Attacks

2007-03-08T22:58:00.000-05:00

As you may know, my roommate and I attended Copeland and Switchfoot. A fabulous, free concert is right up my alley. I bumped into the guy who had put the show on - we had worked together last Spring for a Jars concert. We exchanged a few obligatory words and as I could see he was earnestly trying to recall our connection.

My expectations for the concert were not as high as they probably should have been, but the last time I saw Switchfeet was nearly four years ago at the Illinois State Fair - some New Englanders tend to assume they were playing banjos with cobs of sweetcorn - but lets be honest it was the State Fair. Regardless of their performance then, the one last night was fantastic. I happily left without qualms of the money I hadn't spent on tickets.

Kristen and I exited the Palladium Theater to be met by a strong, icy wall of winter. I snuggled more deeply into my coat and allowed my scarf to hinder my face from any more brutal attacks. Picking up speed to make it into the parking garage before turning to pillars of ice, I noticed that no one was following us. Ha! Silly little people, they had no idea that only two blocks away had been a $1 parking place, instead they succumbed to a closer place that must have cost them at least five times as much.

I'd like to take a moment to give you some background. My dad is the king of bargains. He will drive thirty miles to find a cheaper gas station that may actually save him a mere 15 cents, he takes great pride in his Walgreens mail-in rebates and he has sadly trained me to be thrifty when the situation allows. Such was this night. I had already landed free tickets, why would I jinx that fortune by paying more than a dollar for parking?

Finally, we arrived at our corner, turned and found the garage dark. Empty. Closed. Locked.

Screwed.

After a choice, but appropriate word slipped out with my breath I immediately began thinking worst case scenario. Kristen and I with our combined weight of 220 lbs huddled against a homeless guy in the second most dangerous city in western Mass. Call the police? Not yet. Call Brad for moral support and standby. Return to the Palladium and pray that someone is still there.

My adrenaline kept me warm enough to make it back to the Theater. The joke-of-a security bimbo almost didn't let me through, but once I pleaded my case and allowed tears to well up in my eyes, being quite certain to tilt my head so the above lights would conveniently glisten the ready-to-pour droplets, she let me through. Miraculously, Roger from Soulfest, was still tearing down. He would have to go slightly out of his way, but happily offered us a ride back to Derry.

I believe God allows things like this to happen to humble me. And so other people can earn jewels for their crown.

Update:

Brad and I drove down to Worcester tonight and retrieved my car.

The overnight lock up cost me $17.

So much for being thrifty.

My Favorite Four Letter Word

2007-03-07T14:32:00.000-05:00

FREE

A lady from church gave me two free tickets to see Switchfoot and Copeland tonight.

Can't refuse free.

Maybe unemployment has it's occasional perks.

What is Home?

2007-02-18T23:57:00.000-05:00

I've heard some say it's where your pillow is. Others would say it's where your heart is. Maybe you define home as where you pay rent or where the majority of your family members reside. Perhaps you refer to home as a region rather than a distinct location. For some of you, home is a collection of memories or a place to hide. Some of you left for college to never return home again - your parents moved due to "empty nest syndrome," a job transfer, or something very significant happened that would forever change the way you felt when you came "home." A change that would make you wonder if you could ever feel "home" at home again.

God's immutability has taken on a whole new meaning in my life. Since I left for college, my existence has required a barf bag in the front car of the wildest rollercoaster I could have ever imagined. One tragic event after another, followed by gracious persistence and momentum to move forward, to wind up doing a loop of confusion, down thrilling ramp of altered perspective, climbing a hill of calm and normalcy, for a quick drop into silence which rides out as a promise is kept... And the cycle goes on and on. So, God's never-changing attribute is precious.

Through it all, I have felt uncomfortable - experiencing both belonging and a lack of belonging. Why did I leave Lincoln? I had once belonged, but no longer belonged. Why did I leave Danville? I had once belonged, but no longer belonged. Why am I in New Hampshire? I had once belonged, and for the moment I still belong.

But when I think of home...Derry, NH is not what comes to mind.

What is my home? It is an antique iron bed in a yellow bedroom in a white, stucco home in central Illinois. It is my mom crotcheting rugs in the living room. It is my oldest brother tearfully waving goodbye after a weekend visit. It is my older brother and his family next door. It is my baby brother and his family two blocks north. It is my dad commuting to work everyday. It is sacred. It is a story, a testimonial, of who I am and where I am going. And when home changes, I sense that story losing its validity - as though the life were being sucked right out of it. Perhaps the one thing I'm terrified of most is the final breath of my mother's existence being exhaled. Something which may only be best understood by her one daughter. Certainly, we can exchange cliches of her ongoing presence in the lives she touched, we can attempt to re-tell almost-forgotten stories she took great pride in sharing, but when I go "home" it will in a sense be fading away.

I now wonder how I can redefine my home, my story, so the expectations melt away?
I even wonder if it is possible.

How Do You Like Your Marshmallow?

2007-02-15T15:21:00.000-05:00

Have you seen When Harry Met Sally? Sally is big on sides. She wants her salad dressings on the side, her vanilla ice cream on the side, her best friend on the side. This morning I realized that although my preferences may not require ingredients on the side, there are a few things that I am quite particular about when it comes to food.

For instance, I like marshmallows: big ones, small ones, pastel ones. However, if I'm toasting one at a campfire, I place the forked, puffed food in a warm place where it can cook "low and slow" just as a seasoned griller may cook his steak. If it burns, I give it away. It must remain white or a very light brown, but most importantly it must be all goo within. Then, I rarely enjoy the typical s'more unless, of course, I am successful in a particularly gooey marshmallow that will radically melt the small piece of chocolate on the graham.

As for small ones, at one time I would have preffered to treat myself with a thick layer of small marshmallows melted across the top of my hot cocoa drink. Last night, I discovered that I actually don't like the combination. I would much rather eat the two seperately.

Did you know it can take me an hour to make tuna fish salad? I hate fish. I hate the taste, the odor, and the fact that every doctor wants me to eat it to bring down my cholesterol. I like tuna fish salad, but only if it doesn't look, taste, or smell anything like it's actual form. Therefore, I take whatever measures necessary to disguise the fish factor.

Step one: Open white albacore in fresh water can.
Step two: Hold breath and dump can into strainer.
Step three: Rinse for a few minutes while pressing the meat with a fork to eliminate any fishy flavor.
Step four: Spoon in a glop of miracle whip. Keep the spoon handy in case more needs to be added later.
Step five: With a second spoon add a healthy portion of relish.
Step six: Finely chop some onion and add it to the mix.
Step seven: Stir. Taste. Add ingredients as necessary.
Step eight: Refrigerate in an air-tight container as to not smell it when the fridge is opened.

I like chocolate milk, chocolate ice cream, and chocolate syrup, but I absolutely hate milk chocolate bars.

I thoroughly enjoy unsweetened hot tea, but abhor unsweetened ice tea.

I have to hold a napkin everytime I eat, but rarely do I actually use it.

I will hum the most annoying part of a song because it annoys me, but usually don't realize I'm doing it.

If I hear someone clicking a pen in church I will have strong driving desires to snap off their hands, but I sit their with a content look on my face and swing my legs to distract myself.

So, my question is this: How do you like your marshmallow? What makes you unique - or distractingly obnoxious?

What Would've Been Better?

2007-02-04T20:15:00.000-05:00

What would have been better than the artist formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known As Prince at the Super Bowl Halftime Show?

David Chappelle acting like the artist formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

Now that would have been worth viewing on an illegal 56" television screen.

Best Week Ever

2007-02-03T03:33:00.000-05:00

Her chirping voice was startling, almost humorous, but mostly nervous in nature. How could anyone speak so quickly?

"Oh yes, dear. It would be lovely, yes, lovely...oh! I just can't believe this is going to work out! I cannot explain my excitem...I will leave my brother's home immediately. Oh! I will have him take me home!"

She kept rattling on. The phone crackled a bit, but she was still there when the connection restored.

"All you have to do is sit there. Watch tv all day! Get drunk! I don't care, you don't have to do a thing I am just so thrilled to come home. Goodness sakes, I hope you don't think I'm a lush! I've been in the hospital since Saturday. I did tell you about the concussion, right? It will be so lovely, yes lovely!"

What, praytell, have I gotten myself into?

Being without paid employment will drive anyone to making rash decisions based merely on necessity. This was my impulsive choice: entertaining the company of a wired woman, 71 years of age who was intent on making my life a living circus. My apparent responsibilities: sit, tv, alcohol. Seemingly outlandish, yet by the end of our phone call I was ready for a Bourbon on the rocks and I would be lying if I didn't mention the passing, occassional thought of sedatives.

Upon meeting my new companion for the next week, it was quite obvious that there would be few dull moments and many inward desires of scratching my way through the screen door separating me from my get away car. From the outside, the home appeared to be a typical ranch. The inside, however, was masked in heavy furniture, candlesticks, and Victorian draperies. The cool temperature of the once-empty house seemed to couple perfectly with the chilling interior. It was then she came around the corner to greet me. Her body was encased in a checkered blanket turned cloak. A hood covered most of her head. The blue shades of the getup emphasized the black and bluish green scoops that shadowed her eyes. It was clear by the stitches across the bridge of her nose that the fall had been severe. (Later, several times later, I would hear about the blood that amazingly squirted from her forehead, painting modern designs of anguish on her bathroom cabinets.) Lost in my thoughts a noise caught my attention and suddenly brought me back to this newfound reality.

"Lindsay!" She exclaimed, "I don't normally look like this! I promise you! Just wait until you see my head, the hair pulled right out with the brain scan."

Can't wait.

Watching this woman move around her home was like seeing a coked up poodle hoola hoop. She buzzed, she whirled, and she began calling her overweight Siamese cat, "Miiiiiiing! Miiiiiiiiing!"

My eyes grew wide as her voice stung the utmost depths of my ear canal. "Miiiiiiing!" Was I hearing her correctly? What kind of name is Ming? Asian? I still don't know. I didn't ask for fear of voodoo magic.

Day one began well enough. She slept deeply into late morning, allowing me time to express myself through the written letter. Successful in my efforts of escapism, which I have found to be very helpful in some of life's most unpredictable of moments, I soaked up my quiet time. After cleaning up, I found out I would be in for a treat. Our time together was to be a fun-filled packed day of illegal trash dumping, bakery dropoffs, an introduction to her K9 pal, Tiger, and second hand shopping.

I must say, there is something about seeing a black-eyed woman wrapped in a mink coat lugging a trash bag twice her size to a forbidden, private trash barrel. More importantly, it is interesting to see that same woman carry herself with head held high into a thift shop and introduce "Nursie" to her Argentinian friends. I pride myself in good first impressions. It's not exactly something I have to work at, it just happens. Little did I know what it was going to get me this particular time. I overheard the ladies in the back, discussing my job well done and "magnificently blue eyes." Flattered, but a bit uneasy, I poked around the store and appeared distracted by used undergarments that hung off the nearest rack. Typically thrilled about inexpensive, quality thrift shopping I wanted nothing more but to get out and I probably should have tried.

"OH LINDSAY! Come back here! Try this on..."

Oh. My. Gosh. It was a fur coat. I don't do fur coats. I don't want to do fur coats. I drive a '96 Escort for crying out loud!

"Poot eet on!" The ladies persisted.

Size 1. By the expansive shoulders, I was hoping for a 10, any excuse to rehang the coat and do what I was learning to do best - escape. No. It fit. It fit well (according to the persistent woman in mink).

To my chagrin, she bought the coat to later discover that it is genuine chinchilla and worthy of wear anytime and anyplace. Suddenly, one week was looking like a lifetime. It was from the point on that I tried to "forget" the chinchilla, but was continually reminded of the chinchilla.

So there I was, driving to Target the next evening...in my Escort...in my chinchilla...in personal agony. I sat in the parking lot for at least five minutes debating whether or not it was too cold to run in and out without a coat. I'll be cold. No doubt about that. It's worth it... I am not wearing this coat into Target! WAIT! Swinging my head around to my backseat, I caught a glimpse of my black leather coat smuggled beneath a map and bag. SWEET RELEASE!!!

My elderly companion thinks I went to Target, small group, and church on Sunday in my fur. Each time I secretly exchanged it for the black leather. And each time she spoke to a friend on the phone, she told them of my fabulous new coat. And each time company stopped by, I modeled my prized possession (which I discovered later, while overhearing a phone call, was to make up financially where her payment fell short). Tiger was the only one who didn't care about the coat.

Tiger, come to find out, was a classic sweater dog. Part Min Pin, part Chihuahua. Who would have guessed that a six pound combination of fur, meat, and bones would console me in my tense situation? I usually want to ... kick them! I think I had a breakthrough.

But I don't want to talk about it.

The final morning arrived. A doctor released me from the attached-at-the-hip watch I had been commissioned to fulfill and it was time to go home. My room was unusually warm when I woke up so into the kitchen I trudged. My movement stopped abruptly as my gaze tried to take in what I found standing before the counter. Mink hat, wirey white hair sticking out from the round edge, a nightgown beneath the aforementioned ankle length mink coat, tall socks within rubber boots, and a sweater dog about six pounds heavy tucked into the nook of her arm. "Oh, good morning Lindsay! I just got back from a quick trip to the grocery store."

I smiled.

My new elderly friend was wired, but wise; talkative, but good-natured; eccentric, but authentic.

Whoever says unemployment is uneventful should follow me around for a month.

Endnote: In experiencing these moments I must add that I had a good time getting to know this woman. I also want to add that it was very difficult for me to sum up the events of the week so abruptly. Had I not been so consumed with distraught shock and awe during the actual experience, I would have made better notations throughout the week and perhaps would have communicated the details more effectively. This is just a mere sliver of what I saw, heard, and experienced.

Jack is Back

2007-01-13T16:12:00.000-05:00

Don't be afraid to watch. Even if you haven't allowed it before.

Sunday & Monday 8 - 10pm EST (7-9 CST)

My Best Friend's Wedding

2007-01-01T19:47:00.000-05:00

My year wouldn't be complete without a 36 hour road trip, a shocking wedding, and suprising family, now would it?

It all began the week before Christmas when Brad and I decided to drive "home" and pull one over on my dear friend, Ruth...

Surprise #1 - The Purple People Eater (aka My Chariot)

We clamored around in New Hampshire for a couple of days, finishing car preparations, gathering travel snacks, packing dress clothes, and doing everything within our power to keep our travels on the down-low. Projected schedule: leave Tuesday night at 6 pm, arrive in Indiana at 10 am. Leave Friday at 6 pm, arrive in New Hampshire noon. Brad got off work early - even better.

We loaded PPE and headed down Everett Turnpike to see Kelly, Brad's mom, before departing on our night long drive. To our dismay, My Chariot decided at the office to engage a battery issue and leave us packing up Kelly's car for the ride. Trackers are not the most comfortable vehicles for said length of trip, but we were thankful to be safe and not stranded.

Surprise #2 - Big Bro, Tim-o-thee

Since we were fortunate enough to have an early start, we arrived in Indianapolis a whole three and a half hours too soon. What is there to say about Cracker Barrel at 6:30 am? It's open, it has a fireplace, and there are gifts to buy for brothers who happen to be birthed on the same day 33 years prior and who also happen to work 10 minutes from the Cracker Barrel's location. I'd say it was providential.

After a more-appealing-than-snack-food breakfast and shopping spree, we voted to nap. What is there to say about Super Wal-Mart at 7:30 am? It's open, it has a parking lot, and no one cares about a strange vehicle parked in the corner with two individuals crammed into poorly cushioned bucket seats with blankets and scarves wrapped around their heads to decrease the light shining into their eyes. Sixty minutes of unpleasant napping. It was nearly perfect.

My big brother works on the East end of Indy. The guard at his office was quite confused as I explained my visit. Our conversation went something like this:

"Tim didn't tell me you were coming..."
"That's because he isn't aware that I am coming."
"Well, I'm usually informed of visitors."
"I'm his sister from New Hampshire. I'm surprising him."
"Ooooh! You're surprisin' him!"
"Yes, and I apologize for the lack of notice. My father usually visits Tim every now and then and he suggested that I just come to the main door. He never mentioned the gate."
"Ooooooooh!! So, you're Tim's daughter!!! Sure, go on through. Here are your visitor badges, just park over there."
"No, no, I'm his sist..."
"Enjoy your visit!"

Forget it.

Tim was shocked - I could tell by his silly grin and hidden enthusiasm. It is something we have in common.

Surprise #3 - Ruth

Back to Ruth, she was to be married on the 21st and with only a couple of week's notice, did not expect to see me crossing the parking lot to her school. Neither did I expect to be wearing one of my "used" bridesmaid's dresses to accompany her on a day that will go down in my memory as one of the best weddings.

You see, Ruth and her now husband, Dustin, weren't planning on wedding within a month of their engagement. However, they decided there is no time like the present, and there is no better way to pull off such an event than to surprise the students they both teach at a Christian school in Indiana.

The children were excited for their upcoming break. It was Christmas party day - we all remember those - and the kids were to meet for caroling in the auditorium before going home for break. Ruth and I dressed in a conference room, crouched and snuck through the balcony, and giggled when the announcement of the wedding was made to the children. A collective gasp travelled through the crowd, Ruth's younger siblings swooned with glee, we exchanged hugs and then waited for our cue to walk into their view.

Planned and executed beautifully.

Surprise #4 - Dustin

He had no idea that Ruth had purchased a beautiful dress for the occassion. He also had a goofy grin as he watched her come down the aisle.

Surprise #5 - Todd

Moving on to Danville, I parked Kelly's car down the street and hid in my brother's home with his wife.

Todd walked through the door, looked at me, eyes grew larger and exclaimed, "What the heck?!?!"

Just as I suspected he would.

Surprise #6 - Jeffrey

Jeff wouldn't be home from work until 4:30, so Brad and I waited on chairs next to the Christmas tree, but opposite of his place of entry to the home. Tiffany met him at the door and rather than looking happy, she met him in a concerned fashion which only made him assume something quite horrible had happened to his beautifully self-constructed fireplace mantle.

He crossed the room with furrowed eyebrows and demanding to know, "What did the kids do to the mantle? What did they do??"

A glance to his left and he gathered us into view, but only to look away.

Quickly, he turned back to us with eyes wide, "Lindy and Brad.....Lindy and Brad??? What the heck are you doing here?!"

Simply perfect.

As I have never been entirely successful at a surprise, I am ecstatic that this one worked! It seems that something always happens to make the endeavor fail and athough I never plan for it, I usually expect it to bomb. So, I would like to give props to my sister-in-law, Tiffany, for helping me orchestrate the details and enjoying the process as much as I did. I would like to thank my other sister-in-law, Mandi, for making awesome potato soup and always welcoming me into her home. I'd like to thank my dad for keeping his mouth shut. I would also like to thank whatever gave me a touch of the flu while we were there so Brad and I would be forced into staying another night and visiting with my entire family over breakfast. I want to thank Ruth for being the bestest friend I could ever ask for, you're the reason we took this adventure and it was worth every moment ~ it seems through time we only grow closer. Most of all, I want to thank Brad for being thrilled when I was thrilled, for taking time off of work, and for being so flexible to make it all work out. It wouldn't have happened without you!

...I guess you can never know when I'll have something new up my sleeve...

The Art of Travel

2006-11-27T23:59:00.000-05:00

I decided on a whim today that I'm taking advantage of my lack-o-job scenario and visiting my long-lost friend, Vernae, in Phoenix next week. Tickets are SO reasonable! Maybe Hill, Justin, and Chandler will be oh-so fortunate in LA...

Western USA, here I come!

Don't get too comfortable.

2006-11-27T00:36:00.000-05:00

Brad's grandmother, the woman I have been caring for, passed away unexpectedly last Wednesday morning. I am unemployed and heartbroken. This was the best six weeks I have worked in years and I will miss her dearly. Please pray for my situation. A lot of things have been changing and as I have very recently settled into life again, more change emerges. This is going to affect quite a bit and I have plenty more decisions to make.

Things were good. That should have been my first indication that something was going to happen.

Meteor Gaze Update

2006-11-19T18:00:00.000-05:00

A lovely, clear day turned into a brightly-starred, clear night. Until 9 pm when the clouds came in and successfully blanketed the sky in gray and blocked our eyes from the beautiful events above.

I hate November weather.

Raining Down

2006-11-17T15:59:00.000-05:00

Hey Kids! This is my annual reminder that the Leonid Meteor shower is taking place this Saturday evening - 11:45 pm on the East Coast and 12:45 am in the Midwest. Go someplace dark, this is supposed to be a spectacular year.

I'm heading out with my camera and hoping for at least one good photograph. You'll see it if I'm successful!

Currently

2006-11-14T13:39:00.000-05:00

Fans, I apologize for my absurd lack of writing. I'm at crunch time for several things which you may find less than appealing such as preparing 600 wedding pictures from a wedding I just shot, unpacking at my apartment, balancing my new job, finishing Christmas shopping before going home for Thanksgiving, and maintaining ministry for church.

My plate is full. Wanna bite?

Cross Country

2006-10-19T13:24:00.000-05:00

I've had a crummy day, so rather than running into my afternoon doing things I'm supposed to do, I'm going to curl up in a recliner and read my new book and dream about road tripping across the country.

And it's going to be wonderful.

Season Finale

2006-10-13T13:12:00.000-05:00

My unattractive and unamused programming picture.
Yes. That is a crown. My coworker calls this photo, "Princess."

Today is officially my last day of working as a software programmer! Although the day is somewhat bittersweet, it is a blessing and I am thrilled to be moving forward.

I am babysitting my favorite New England children tonight.

I will have a bed for my new apartment.

Tomorrow I plan on carving a pumpkin.

Life is good.

How 'bout that Change

2006-10-04T12:30:00.000-05:00

I'm signing a lease agreement tonight. Although, I should be quite excited about the step, I'm a little nervous about it.

Also, on the 16th, I will be through with my programmer job and working as a full time home care giver for Brad's grandmother. It is official. I am a "granny nanny."

October regrettably reminds me that everything cools, shortens, changes, and dies. Part of me is quite excited about my new upcoming adventures, but rather than wonderous quest, I simply want warm familiarity; instead of colorful turning leaves, I want laughter and hugs; instead of new friends, the old; instead of surrogate family, the real deal.

It will pass
Fall into Winter
Winter into Spring.

And again I will wonder what I'm doing.
And I'll breathe.
And everything will be alright.

Agent Nardoni

2006-09-21T10:48:00.000-05:00

Can you believe that I meet more qualifications to being a CIA Agent than a writer?

The Hunt

2006-09-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

I need a new job.
I need benefits.
I need something that pays decently because I will be paying rent.

Knowing me, are there any suggestions?

Confessional

2006-09-15T13:24:00.000-05:00

Target temptations...
Anytime I'm in Target with chipped toe nail polish, I have to withold the urge to touch up in their cosmetic aisle.

You're a bully man! Just lemme have a piece...
As a child, I remember visiting the local Pamida. They had large bin of candy, perfect for a young person's reach (this was not your mama's cookie jar - this candy was right there, in your face!). Next to the bin was a box, likened to a boring piggy bank, with a sign attached that read "5 cents a sample." That's it - a nickel for a piece of candy; the gummy fruit shapes doused in sugar were my favorite. But sometimes Mom wouldn't allow us to sample the candy. Walking past it I recall wondering how the upper Pamida management ever knew whether the little children were paying or not. My curiosity was never fulfilled. I feared the wrath of my mother too much to test the store's security.

Destined friendship...
I think Rush Limbaugh and I would be good friends. He corrects his own grammatical errors.

Blonde moment...
My sophomore year of college, a friend and I were heading to Bloomington for a movie. While cruising down I-55, I was especially energized by the song on the radio and began honking the horn of my Cutlass Cierra to the beat of the obnoxious tune. My friend suggested that I stop before my car ran out of horn juice. Horrified, I quickly stopped. I had no idea how much it would cost to refill horn juice.

Confession...
I find satisfaction in kicking small dogs. Kick...kick...

For a Price

2006-09-11T13:05:00.000-05:00

Microsoft Word has a feature that I, and many others, took advantage of throughout the college years - Shift+F7 - the Thesaurus shortcut. I recently noticed that a synonym for expense is sacrifice. Quite humorously, it's antonym - income.

Money has sadly been pouring from my wallet. As I watch it fade from my grasp, I remind myself that it's an investment...

the gas mileage
the professional dress clothes
the magazines
the books
the dinner after a long wedding shoot
the ibuprofen
the lenses

It is an investment, right?

Picture: Home

2006-09-07T08:31:00.000-05:00

I have posted new pictures HERE

September's Post

2006-09-06T09:43:00.000-05:00

Sometimes change isn't so bad. I can honestly say that a year ago, I would be in turmoil over the lack of permanent housing and potential joblessness, but today I feel great!

After a fabulous vacation home, I returned with a spirit of distaste towards my job. Yesterday morning I trudged into work with a heavy heart (this always happens after a visit with my family, it takes me a few days to realize that I can make it without them right next to me, and then I'm back to normal) and immediately sat down to make a note in my planner: CRUNCH NUMBERS - DETERMINE HOW MUCH $ I NEED TO MAKE. An hour or so later I was scribbling down characteristics of my ideal job. I tucked the note into my planner with anticipation of tending to it later this week. By 3 pm, I was standing at the sink thinking that I should just walk into my boss' office and say, "Look, this isn't working for me anymore." Startled by my impulsive thoughts, I shoved the idea aside as nonsense, but managed to utter a prayer that my employer would initiate a conversation with me, that the "answer" would be obvious, that I would no longer be wondering if I should stay...or if I should go.

Within the hour, it happened. Tai Kwan Do called me into the other room and point blank asked me if I wanted to pursue a new career. Without hesitation, I said yes. (Honestly, I think he realized that they don't really need me here. I have managed to alleviate the tasks and mundane activity from his plate, but it isn't anything that the other employees couldn't do. After all, they don't "need" an office manager anymore. They need a programmer. And a programmer I am not.) He has offered to help me get to a point of departure, allowing me to stay with the company until January, complete two years with the company for my resume, and giving me time to take a class if I so desire. We won't be burning any bridges.

I am at peace with the situation. Anyone who has heard my stories, my anxiety, my frustrations knows that this is a wonderful thing. Staying in NH? Probably. For the past year I have known that I am not staying for the job. I am digging roots (that very well may uproot later in life). I love my experiences, my friends, my ministries... Until God pulls me elsewhere, this is where I'll stay.

So, I may be the only person who is truly relieved about losing a job. How could I not be? I am more excited about my photography business potential. I am already dreaming about a trip to see some friends on the West Coast in January. I see God closing doors and that can only mean one thing. He's on the move.

Finding my way home...

2006-08-23T10:59:00.000-05:00

Never has Illinois been more enticing. I will be approaching her flat lands of fields, storms, and miraculous sunsets this Friday evening.

See you then!

Whirlwinds, Pinwheels, and Puzzled Persons

2006-08-07T15:02:00.000-05:00

It is my honor to announce that I am officially homeless. The day has come, and although one should be exclusively compelled to finding a solution to the problem, I am instead caught in between shock and disbelief. At the moment, I am taking up residency in the Belley family pop-up camper. Thank goodness the heat wave has passed and the night's have been cool enough to enjoy my time outdoors. When I told Kelly that I wanted to go camping this summer, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind...

So, my energy in the next few weeks is going to be dispersed and as if I wasn't keeping up on my blogging enough before, it will probably be less often than ever.

At least for now.

il vostro mom va all'universita

2006-07-10T10:47:00.000-05:00

I don't need to say it, but...

I told you so.

Whether you missed the game or saw this a dozen times, enjoy this clip from the game. I certainly did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1i_l0OeeMc

Jamie Cullum: Revisited

2006-06-29T14:05:00.000-05:00

I wish I could afford to send all of my friends to see one of the most entertaining and gifted musicians yet.

People of all ages gathered together in the Concord, NH Center for the Arts Wednesday night to witness a chilling two hour performance by the one and only jazz pianist, Jamie Cullum (and band). His unrivaled charm, wit, and English accent bounced off the theater walls and soaked into the ears of baffled, amused, and pleased fans.

My eyes could easily absorb what took place before me. It is certainly not unusual to see a young 26 year old jump from a piano and land oh-so perfectly in his Chucks. Nor is it odd to watch as the said twenty something bounced from instrument to instrument. Literally...bouncing. My ears beheld something quite unordinary. Pure. Someone so young, so full of life, loving every moment before him. He could not even recall how long he had been playing.

As I sat with chills riding up and down my spine, I thought deeply about Jamie's presence, his passion. It was quite obvious to me that we all deserve to live in such a manner. Find our love and go for it! (Do you sense a Dead Poet's Society moment approaching?)

But really. Why not seize the day?

Purenard Custom Humidors

2006-06-27T08:56:00.000-05:00

www.purenardcustomhumidors.blogspot.com

Jeff has officially begun his new business in making custom humidors. Check out his blogsite to see more photographs of this beautiful piece of work. Please forward the address to all you know! You may not be able to afford it, but someone will.

Thanks,
His Big Sister

Disturbed by Ghana

2006-06-22T12:29:00.000-05:00

I had to watch the commentary of USA vs. GHANA on my Firefox browser. Painfully, I sat clenched to my desk waiting for the next line of progress to be reported a few seconds delayed. The US never made a second goal to tie themselves up and move into the next round of the World Cup. My judgements of the game are scathed because I was only reading stats; however, the fouling at the end only gave Ghana the time they so preciously desired to hold the win. TiVo shall allow me to watch the match tonight, but would I rather watch the Italy game?

I tip my hat to Keller who could possibly be one of the best goal keepers I have ever seen.

My devotion remains with the USA, but Italia will be the team I continue to cheer for in the 2006 World Cup.

Oooooooolay!

Appealing News

2006-05-31T12:35:00.000-05:00

I have successfully peeled today's orange in one piece.
And the crowds go wild.

Tax refund transforms into my new baby

2006-05-24T11:43:00.000-05:00

She arrives on Saturday.

It's candy time!

2006-05-17T14:26:00.000-05:00

This is our new candy dispenser. The last one died miserably last month when I dropped the glass globe and watched in horror as it shattered upon the office floor. Thanks to my coworker's addiction to Dunkin Donuts iced coffee and his even stranger obsession with things that dispense from a container - we now have a perfectly snug and compentent replacement for what was once a round glass ball.

Unfortunately, we were out of chocolate. So my Cheerios had to suffice.

It rained and poured for forty day-zies day-zies

2006-05-15T08:49:00.000-05:00

(This is the Merrimack River at Arm's Park in the Manchester Millyard.
The small poles poking out of the water are for kayak races and stand
12-15 feet above the usual water level.)

Welcome to the Water World we in Manchester-Hooksett region formerly referred to as "the Merrimack River." My house, the cozy home I have grown quite fond of and the fabulous family I live with are positioned in the community of Hooksett and across the street from the Mighty Merrimack. Up until now, I have not been concerned of flooding possibilities. Up until now...

It has rained steadily for four days straight. The state of New Hampshire has received two months worth of rain in three of those days. Yesterday, select roads in low-lying areas were closed down. With it being Mother's Day, I spent the evening with Kelly and family. Kelly was my internship mentor and has taken me under her wing from day one. Naturally, I would spend said day with her. During dinner I called home. Dwight answered the phone with a hesitant voice, "We really think you should stay where you are tonight. The National Guard is only letting residents in and encouraging people not to travel if possible." Okay, fair enough.

The news stations were making announcements that the National Guard would be arresting individuals who refused to evacuate homes that were in mandatory locations. I made a nice bed on the couch at the Belley home, propped quite nicely at the top of Manchester's Beech Hill.

My obnoxious alarm sounded. Rather than resetting it, I chose to flip on the television and see if roads to my work would even be accessible. Yes, 28 Bypass was clear as long as I planned to approach from the South. Darn.

To the shower I go. Sure, I have to wear yesterday's clothes, but at least my hair can be clean.

Knock.

"Lindy are you in there?" asks Kelly.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I just got an email from Christine. She, Dwight and the kids are voluntarily evacuating your house this morning. Just thought you'd like to know - and further complicate your life."

I called my boss and informed him of the situation. I would try to run home before work to pack some clothes, grab my essentials, and head to the office. The National Guard let me pass through their barrier at Dunkin Donuts. I drove slowly and scanned the land off to my right to check for the river level. There it raged - a brown mirky river that taunted each house on it's bank.

Approaching 1/4 mile from my road I was stopped at another barricade. This one was different. This one was a block from my house. This is when I found out that my house is already under three feet of water and expected to continue rising for the next three days. They were also keeping an eye on the section of road before me, anticipating it to collapse in a nicely carved sink hole.

So, thank you Merrimack River. Thank you for spreading the love. Thank you for sending hundreds of families homeless. Thank you for giving me a reason to go shopping.

But dangit. I don't want to go shopping.

What is it with Dalmations?

2006-05-08T09:47:00.000-05:00

Click here to see this fabulous puppy video...

¡hola colesterol!

2006-05-05T12:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I got a call from the doctor's office this morning. Apparently, my cholesterol is a little high. The doctor's recommendations of a dietary change:

More fibers and bran (equals more pooping)
Lean protein like fish (gag me with a nail gun)
Fruits
Veggies
Flax seed oil (currently on sale at Target)
and...
WEIGHT LOSS

Are they trying to kill me?

Oh gee, now I'm convinced

2006-05-03T10:25:00.000-05:00

Drive Back Roads

2006-05-01T14:32:00.000-05:00

I didn't realize my brush with "the big guys" would continue through the weekend. Earlier this week I got an email from a friend. Jars of Clay was in the Manchvegas region and they needed more people to help with load in, concert, and load out. Naturally, I signed myself and Brad up. At first I thought Brad was going to kill me. I honestly gave him the option of not doing it, but he went along with my wishes and decided to join me for the early morning and lengthy day.

Feeling a tad guilty, I bought tickets for the two of us to see Jeff Dunham in Boston at the Comedy Connection. His frustration gave way to excitement. Now, the only task was to make sure he got up in time for load in on Saturday.

Saturday was exhausting, but awesome. Our tasks varied and everything was completed smoothly. I didn't feel any pressure that day until they forced me to eat my taco dinner in 8 minutes before the doors opened.

There were a few hours in the day that we just bummed around and made ourselves available for random help. Sound check began so I plopped down on a random chair and listened. A few others were littered around the large room. It was cold. I was alone. I love sound checks. It's honest. The musicians mess up. The sound fluctuates. The singer forgets the words. The sound man paces the room, returns to the board and tweaks. Jars cleared the stage one by one and Christopher Williams took his place. I had never heard his music before but was immediately astonished with his raw simplicity. I'm a new fan.

Brad and I ended up at the merch tables during and after the show. We worked alongside Schottsy (who is also a musician from Nashville) and Chris (who opened for Jars). I decided that Chris and Schottsy should come to work with me and just randomly express their joy for my presence and assistance - the men at my office aren't exactly "words of affirmation" kind of people, thus making it very difficult to work hard and stay on task. It can be very discouraging to always wonder if you are appreciated or if you're doing a good job. On the flip side, these men were very encouraging and made me feel like my time and energy had been worthwhile. It was my pleasure to be there and I extend my gratitude for their pure and kind hearts.

Time for a confession: It was good that I moved from the Jars table to Chris' table during the night. I liked their first album - alot. I was so disappointed with what I thought to be a poppier sound in the following albums that I just stopped trying their music. No, that doesn't make me an evil person because it's all a matter of taste and opinion. I just thoroughly enjoyed the personality of the early days. Truly, I felt like I was betraying every person who walked up and asked me my opinion of the various cds. "I don't know. But isn't that a great tshirt?"

Saturday night I was alive in my element. Database programming? Sure, I can do it. But working with people is my forte. That's why I loved the coffeehouse. That's why I enjoyed counseling. That's why sitting at a computer day in and day out drains me.

On to Sunday...

After church we headed to Worcester, Mass so Brad could test drive an Eagle Talon. Curtis was jealous. Curtis also got 36 mpg on this last tank of gas (still trying to rationalize that one). The Eagle Talon will never experience such mileage. We then sped away to Boston where we kicked around dirt, watched street performances in Quincy Market before heading up to a most hilarious comedy act by vantrilaquist Jeff Dunham. Check out his stuff on Comedy Central or his DVD on Amazon.

I met a lot of really cool people. I heard a lot of great music. I learned a few more things about myself. I got some new ideas. All-in-all it was a fantabulous weekend.

Dear Aunt Lindy

2006-05-01T11:49:00.000-05:00

A recent email from my 7 year old nephew, Ezra. He lives in Anderson, IN.

aunt lindy,

where do you live? do you live on a plane? do you live in a mailbox? i am going to a birthday party today.

love ezra.

My less-than-appealing reply:

Hi Ezra,

I live in Hooksett, NH. Not on an airplane. Not in a mailbox. I hope that does not lessen your opinion of me.

Such information can be quite crushing for a child. I had to follow up with something promising. A bribe of sorts...

I live in a house with a family who has two little boys. One of them is named Dillon (he is 6) the other is named Ryan (he is 5). They will be here when you come visit me. (Here is where I had to spice it up.) We also have a pool. You will get to go swimming with them, I am sure.

I hope you had a good time at your birthday party!
Love
Aunt Lindy

I have saved my title and preserved my reputation among my nephews. And the little children cheer for their favorite Aunt Lindy!!!

(I am a bit concerned as I wonder what his parents are telling him about me...if anything at all. Why on God's green earth would he assume I live in a mailbox?)

According to Jim

2006-04-28T10:36:00.000-05:00

Last evening I had the pleasure of driving to Providence, RI to enjoy dinner with a friend from Chicago. Sarah was in on a business trip for Intelligentsia Coffee where she is employed as a Training Specialist. That is correct - a Specialist.

My mom was born in Providence and grew up a few years in Warwick before relocating with her family to the Chicago area. Grandpa always loved Rhode Island and after spending some time in the quiet of the city, I could definitely see why. I highly recommend a visit to this said location should you ever make it to the East Coast. It was thick with personality and blossoming beauty.

Yesterday morning on my way to work I pulled out my Return to Me soundtrack. It is one of my favorite movies. The soundtrack has a fabulous "Spring" vibe, thus I chose it for roadtrip listening. Truthfully, the driving portion of the trip was hell. Masshole behavior (Masshole: noun - One who drives horribly and has a license plate from the state of Massachusetts) has leaked into the beautiful state of Rhode Island. My conclusion, after noticing Spanish advertisments plastered over most of the city and discovering that 30% of Providence's populations is of Hispanic origin, is that perhaps the language barrier and laws of the road are yet unfamiliar to the pedestrians and drivers of the city. I chose to give them the benefit of the doubt and enjoy my time with Sarah and Brad.

My friend was staying in the Biltmore Hotel, a glorious historical hotel in the center of Downtown. Prior to dinner we chose to walk around and work up an appetite. Two blocks into the excursion Brad spotted a movie set just down the alleyway from where we stood. We cut around from the West side of the set and watched as extras and actors paused and moved at the director's command. The boom lifted and pulled. The C02 was rising from sewer openings on command from a nearby machine. Need I remind you - I'm from backwash Illinois and this whole process intrigued me. The movie? Underdog - based on the cartoon - a Walt Disney Production. Releasing next August.

Dinner was pleasant. Shockingly, we had to request water. The waitress offered us still bottled water and I am quite certain we all looked at her she like was crazy. "No, tap water is fine." You know, the free stuff? I jokingly referred to Return to Me as there is a similar scene with Minnie Driver in the movie. We enjoyed a lovely bottle of white wine, fresh seafood, and filet mignon, turned toward us and said, "So, shall we skip drinks and go straight the room?" I'm almost afraid to know what people were thinking!

After a few hours of refreshing conversation it was time for Brad and I to leave. We had stayed past my 10 o'clock departure time and we still had a two hour drive home. Saying goodbye was not difficult as I know we will soon see one another again. She's just that lucky. Brad and I walked through the beautiful lobby, he opened the door to step aside for a couple of men to come through... and there stood Jim Belushi on what appeared to be the end of a jog. He was only with one other guy so I definitely had this..."man, that guy looks a lot like Jim Belushi" look on my face which in turn received the "Yeah, I'm Jim Belushi - what are you looking at?" look from him. I had my camera with me, but he didn't appear to be in a good mood and since he makes a good angry man, I didn't want to push my luck. I just glanced at Brad who looked back at me and nodded.

Meeting famous people is much cooler when it's unexpected. Especially when it's someone you like. For those of you who don't know, Jim Belushi is also in Return to Me where he costars as Bonnie Hunt's hilarious husband. So there you have it. Providential happenings in Providence.

And seeing friends is even better with a spectacular view.

Nerf for Mayor

2006-04-26T13:02:00.001-05:00

Nerf for NYC Mayor

My Dream Jobs

2006-04-24T09:44:00.001-05:00

Jeanne inspired me to make a list of my top dream careers. (In no particular order)

1. Tornado / Storm Chaser
2. Independently wealthy world traveler - see Jeanne, I told you.
3. Creative Writer / Children's books
4. Professional Photographer - I would consider myself a photographer already. The professional part indicates some sort of compensation for the photography.
5. Art Teacher - for children - "And this kids is how you draw a turkey with your handprint!"
6. Coffeehouse / Map store / small bookstore owner
7. National Park Ranger
8. Tour Guide
9. Muralist
10. Landscape Artist/Designer
11. Meteorologist - Not a weatherman, though. I'd want to be behind the scenes doing the fun stuff.
12. Graphic Designer
13. Travel Agent
14. Librarian - so I could smell books all day, any day.
15. Elementary School English Teacher

High Recommendation: Dipping

2006-04-19T08:33:00.000-05:00

A forkful of homemade baked macaroni and cheese in applesauce.

Television Consumption for April 17, 2006

2006-04-18T11:01:00.000-05:00

Thank you to the phenomenon of TiVo, I can simultaneously watch two "live" shows. Simply find your first desired show. Pause. Click over to "Live TV" and select another show. Watch until a commercial. Pause. Click over to "Live TV" and fast forward to the program. Watch until a commercial. Pause. Click over to "Live TV" and fast forward to the program. Repeat until you are sick of watching tv.

Considering I had the flu this weekend and yesterday was the first day of my five sickdays that I could sit up for more than 20 minutes, I soaked in as much estrogen-filled morning television and afternoon reruns that my body (and brain) could handle.

I awoke at 8:30, grabbed a blanket, my pillow, apple juice, and headed for the recliner.
(The shows I watched at the same time are divided with a slashy sign.)

Live with Regis and Kelly / The Weather Channel
The View / The Weather Channel
The Today Show (which I hate) / A Wedding Story & A Makeover Story
2 episodes of the Cosby Show (the early years)
2 episodes of the Cosby Show (the later years) / 1 epidsode of Yes Dear
BREAK
2 episodes of Yes Dear / 1 episode of Everybody Loves Raymond
2 episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond
Friends
24 (the only thing I really wanted to watch)

And I don't feel empty inside.

High Recommendation: Dipping

2006-04-12T12:41:00.000-05:00

Submerge your fries in a frosty for optimum enjoyment.

High Recommendations to: Moisturizing Lotion

2006-04-10T14:13:00.000-05:00

Today's relief sponsored by Lubriderm

Their Oppression to My Depression

2006-04-04T08:43:00.000-05:00

"I place my palms to the east where my people seek peace, and freedom from police control, checkpoints and patrols, Free the P, Domination from another nation; we used to be brothers like Cain; now they got us living under occupation."

Introducing new Arab-American rap sensations, Omar Offendum and Ragtop...

WARNING: Duck tape may be required to keep your head from exploding.

NEW YORK - They rap about checkpoints, military oppression and refugee camps. Their songs express longing for Jerusalem and anger at the hardships of life in the Gaza Strip and West Bank.

But they grew up in Tennessee or Virginia, live in Los Angeles and perform in New York City.
Far away from the their parents' homeland in the Middle East, Arab-American rappers are trying to find their own voice in the United States — expressing the frustrations of the Muslim world at a time when anti-Islamic feelings are on the rise following the Sept. 11 attacks.

Their neophyte movement is spurred on by the success that rap and hip-hop have in voicing the grievances and reflecting the lives of other minorities in the United States.

Two of the Arab-American rappers, Omar Offendum and Ragtop of Los Angeles, are on the forefront of this small but growing trend in hip-hop music.

"Hip-hop has always been trying to voice resistance in the face of oppression," said Offendum, the performance alias of 24-year-old Omar Chakaki. "And if you're growing up Arab, politics are very important because they affect every level of your life in many different ways."

"There's definitely a feeling of solidarity with other minorities, like African-Americans, and not just when it comes to the music," added Ragtop, 25, whose real name is Nizar Wattad.

"Palestinians in Israel and the territories are also second-class citizens."

Their political lyrics resonate with young Arab-Americans. During a recent concert, more than 300 fans of mainly Middle Eastern background squeezed into the Coda Club in midtown Manhattan. The gig was organized by the Network of Arab-American Professionals of New York and the bands themselves.

Clapping and singing, the crowd enthusiastically applauded the hip-hop performances of Wattad and Chakaki.

The two artists rapped in English and Arabic, combining electronic samples of popular and classical Arabic music from their parents' generation with fast hip-hop drum beats.

"I place my palms to the east where my people seek peace, and freedom from police control, checkpoints and patrols," Wattad and Chakaki rhymed in the song "Free the P," the P referring to Palestinians. "Domination from another nation; we used to be brothers like Cain; now they got us living under occupation."

Wattad, who is of Palestinian origin and heads a band called the Philistines, and Chakaki, the Syrian-American lead singer of the NOMADS, have been touring, with dates in Michigan in Detroit and Dearborn, as well as in Oberlin, Ohio, and Vancouver.

They are promoting their co-produced album, a compilation of spoken word and hip-hop that features 24 different artists from the U.S., Canada and the Middle East. Like their duet, the album is titled "Free the P."

While many of their songs focus on the plight of Palestinians, Wattad and Chakaki also rap about their own experiences as Arabs, and Arab-Americans, in a post-Sept. 11 world where suspicion of Muslims runs high.

"After 9/11, I got stripped-searched on 17 flights in a row," said Wattad, offering an example of what he perceives as growing discrimination against Arabs in the United States.

Despite their anger about incidents like this, the two rappers reject violence as a solution for conflicts.

"We don't believe in violence on either side of the conflict," said Wattad, referring to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. "If we can help to clear up the hate, we'd even play together with an Israeli band."

While Arab immigrants in Europe and Palestinian youths in Israel and the occupied territories have been expressing their political frustrations and anger through hip-hop for many years, the Arab-American version of rap is a relatively new phenomenon.

In North America, there are only a few other Arab-American rappers, including the Iron Sheik from Oakland, California, and the Iraqi-Canadian band Euphrates.

Wattad and Chakaki have independently been producing rap songs for more than three years and both recorded a CD. But it is only in recent months that their music has gotten much media attention and that they have established a fan community.

They hope that eventually their fans will include people beyond the Arab-American community. At the recent Coda Club concert they managed to recruit some new fans, though mostly still of Arab descent.

"They are very political but that is part of who we are," said Mayida Zaal, a 27-year-old design student of Palestinian background who had just bought the "Free the P" CD for her cousins.

"This music is like the original hip-hop from the Bronx before it was commercialized," said Zaal. "I think their music has a future."

A 24 Rush!

2006-03-31T10:21:00.000-05:00

Warning: This transcript is from yesterday's program. If you are not currently watching this season's 24, I recommend that you skip this post as the revealed information may ruin your future viewing.

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: I'm just so happy to have these two guys in the studio with us today: Joel Surnow, the creator and executive producer of "24", and Howard Gordon, the executive producer and the head writer for the series this year. The series is -- you've finished writing it. It's in the can. How much is left to shoot?

SURNOW: We have another month to shoot. We're shooting episodes 23 and 24 starting next week, so the big finale is next week.

RUSH: It's fascinating. I got to go out and visit your set last year, and I watched. In fact I was back there last summer, too, and you had this season story boarded but you do not know from the day you start shooting it how it's going to end, right?

SURNOW: No.

GORDON: No. We're happy to know where we're going to start.

RUSH: (Laughter)

GORDON: That's good enough for us.

RUSH: And you work three weeks ahead?

GORDON: We work about three weeks ahead at a time. It's very much on the fly and that's kind of what keeps it interesting for us, kind of like your show.

RUSH: Yeah.

GORDON: You never know where it's going.

RUSH: Yeah, nothing is scripted here. So one of the questions I always get from people, they watch your show and they'll see a president portrayed a certain way or a chief of staff or a character, and I am always asked, since they know that I'm close buddies with you, "Are they ripping Bush here?" Do you guys bounce off current political events? Are you sending messages, subliminal or otherwise, with your scripts?

SURNOW: Specifically, we don't model anybody after any current politicians. We do follow the post-9/11 world, and our show has become part of that world. But in terms of specifically taking shots at anybody, we have not done that.

GORDON: And, Gregory Itzin, the current president, bears a genetic resemblance to Nixon --

SURNOW: Right.

GORDON: -- and it begins and ends there.

RUSH: Well, did you do it on purpose or you just liked the actor when he auditioned?

GORDON: He's a fantastic actor.

SURNOW: No, it had nothing to do that.

RUSH: I guess it does take talent to act like that big a wimp because I don't know anybody who actually is.

SURNOW: Yeah.

GORDON: (Laughing.)

SURNOW: We do. (Laughter.) RUSH: Where did this idea come from? I know, Joel, you've been in television writing all your life. You worked on Miami Vice. Where did this idea come from and where did you meet Howard?

SURNOW: The idea, I originally had the idea of doing a show in real time. Most TV seasons are 22 episodes. I thought, "What if you do two more and make them one hour in a day, 24 hours, in a 24 episode season?" I called my partner, one of my friends who I write with, Robert Cochran, and we originally bandied about the idea and thought, what if you do 24 hours in the day of a wedding and make it a romantic comedy, and then we scrapped that idea. We thought, "The whole power of doing real time is make it a race against time, have the stakes be really high," and so then we sort of started coming up with the idea of a counter terrorist unit, et cetera, et cetera. Once the show got picked up for 13 episodes, we needed to find a head writer and writing staff.

RUSH: What year was this?

SURNOW: This was 2001.

GORDON: 2001.

RUSH: Pre-9/11?

SURNOW: Pre-9/11. And Howard had been at the Fox lot. He had done four years. He was sort of the main writing engine behind the first four years of X-Files, and you can't find a better writer than that, and we met for hours, and we just instantly had a great chemistry. So Bob, Howard and myself became sort of story engine of that first season.

RUSH: Every season builds on the next, but they're not interconnected. You can watch seasons independently on DVD. One of the things that I tell people that most amazes me is your show is five years old, and about that time writers wear out, energy just goes. You've sapped your creativity. You guys keep setting new plateaus, new expectations. You elevate them for everybody else and you meet and surpass the audience expectations. Everybody that I talked to that has watched the DVDs thinks every season is better than the previous, and nothing wrong with the previous seasons. It just keeps getting better. How many people on the writing staff and how many hours a day are you doing this?

GORDON: We're doing it kind of 24/7 whether we're actually at the office or not. The story lives with all of us and we come in... Well, to answer your first point, we just want to keep ourselves interested in the plot, otherwise we couldn't do this kind of work unless we were interested in writing it, and if we like what we're writing we have to assume our audience is going to like what they're watching, and that's our litmus test -- and we love the show. We're having a great time and we just want to keep it going.

RUSH: How about your budgets every year? They give you more money to produce it every year, significantly?

SURNOW: We do. It increases. There are built-in increases. We have about 350 people working on the show, and they all get incremental raises. Howard was nice enough to defer his salary for the first five years.

GORDON: (laughs)

RUSH: (laughs)

SURNOW: We're going to give him a big balloon payment next season.

GORDON: There will be a fund-raiser shortly.

RUSH: I didn't mean that personally. The reason I ask is, we're watching Monday night's episode yesterday afternoon, and it was loaded with things that cost a lot of money to produce. You told me it took seven days to shoot Monday's episode with all of that stuff in it.

SURNOW: It's surprising. It's in the realm of a budget for a normal hour television, or is not any more expensive than an hour. It could be even less expensive than an hour of Desperate Housewives for all we know. I mean, it's really a remarkable thing. It's really a testament to our production crew, our producer, and it's very efficient, and pretty reasonable, by TV standards.

RUSH: Well, it's amazing, because you have so many -- you have more plot twists in one episode than most seasons of a show have in their entire run, and it's just incredible. I've got a couple people that want to ask some questions before the break. Put your headphones on. We'll go to Romeoville, Illinois and Cory. You're talking to Joel Surnow.

CALLER: Hello. This is Cory.

SURNOW: Hi, Cory.

CALLER: Nice to meet you guys. Love the show. It's the best show I've ever seen on TV, and --
SURNOW: We can't disagree.

CALLER: I wanted to say that. I wanted to ask why you guys: I've been following the show for years. Michelle and Tony were a couple of my favorite characters. Any particular reason why they were all of a sudden, uh, completely out of the picture?

RUSH: Okay, I get it. Why do you kill off all the stars?

SURNOW: Well, the premise of the show is that we are fighting a war on terror, and there are casualties in the war, and to make it feel real, we have to have people that we've actually cared about die or else it wouldn't feel real. It wouldn't. We fundamentally see the show as part drama, part tragedy, and it breaks our hearts to lose some of these wonderful actors that we've had along the way, Xander Berkeley, who played George Mason the second season, Penny Johnson who was Sherry Palmer. This year Edgar, Tony. These are wonderful actors and friends, but the story is the story. We have to service that and make it feel like something that is going to have an impact.

RUSH: And they all know when they sign on it can happen?

SURNOW: Absolutely.

RUSH: Do they lobby you if they find they're going to get written out? Do they lobby? Can they change your mind? You're the head writer. Can they talk you out of it?

GORDON: I've been talked out of a couple of deaths. I have been and --

RUSH: Will you tell us who you saved?

GORDON: Well, I'll tell you most recently --

SURNOW: Ah, this is a first.

GORDON: -- is Carlos Bernard who played Tony has been dead on the page three different times.

RUSH: (laughs) Is that right?

GORDON: And he'd come up and we think about it and realized it wasn't time for his character to leave just yet so he's really had nine lives but most recently Peter Weller. Peter Weller was supposed to actually have been the one to die in the chair at CTU in episode 13, and one day over a couple of cigars he -- he (laughing).

SURNOW: (Laughs)

RUSH: I tell you, a cigar can bridge a gap and save a guy's life now.

SURNOW: It really can. Cigars do save lives.

RUSH: (laughing) On "24". Cheryl in Wheeling, West Virginia, you're talking to Howard Gordon and Joel Surnow.

CALLER: Hello, love the show. I'd like to know why you make Kim so hateful toward her father. Kim, the daughter.

SURNOW: Well, Kim's relationship with her father is pretty complicated, and I don't know if she's as hateful toward her father as she is toward the writers but she finds herself in a position where she thinks of her father as a bad-luck person in her life. I mean, she probably blames the death of her mother on her dad.

RUSH: Yeah.

SURNOW: Her dad, you know, quote, unquote, "died" and didn't tell her about it for 18 months, and she had to mourn him. So she's got lots of pent-up issues, and we didn't want to make that a facile, easy relationship. You know, so she did come off somewhat, uh... I wouldn't call it petulant, but just sort of like she's holding a lot of anger toward him.

RUSH: Eh, she's a teenaged girl!

SURNOW: Yeah.

RUSH: Let me try a theory at this with them, Cheryl. We're watching the show on Wednesday afternoon and here we are in the middle... "The Centox is about to be released through the natural gas pipeline, all hell is about to break loose," and Jack pauses to give a nice, big wet kiss to Audrey, and Joel looks at me and says, "We've got to keep the women."

SURNOW: (chuckling)

RUSH: And I said, "I know. You cover all the demographics in this show. You've got romance in the middle of terrorism," but it's a business. You're trying to get all demographics. You want young people so you've got Kim in there acting like she does. That's what so amazing about this. You have to factor all these things in. It's a business. It's your creative life; you're having fun doing it, but there are business requirements that you have to meet if you want to continue to grow the audience which you have. Is that not brilliant or what, for me to understand that?

SURNOW: Way, way off. You're way, way off. (All laughing.) Let Howard explain the emotional underpinning of the show.

GORDON: Yeah, you have to have somebody to -- Jack has got to have an emotional context. He does. We don't do this just to pander to our audience. Rush, how dare you say something like that?

RUSH: Well... (All laughing.) This stuff doesn't go on in offices, people making out like that, I've never seen that. (Laughing.)

GORDON: It is true, it is true, I mean --

RUSH: I didn't mean pander.

GORDON: I know you didn't. But the truth is Jack has got -- he's this flesh-and-blood person in our minds, anyway, and for him to go through all this action, just blowing up a bunch of gas stations to save the rest of us is a lot less meaningful than if he has something to live for.

RUSH: Right.

GORDON: Why is he a person?

RUSH: Right.

GORDON: Why is he living on this earth?

RUSH: Right.

SURNOW: There you go.

RUSH: These are serious guys, folks.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Joel Surnow and Howard Gordon from "24" are here. We've got about eight or nine more minutes with them. Back to the phones: Keith in Orlando, Florida, great to have you with us.

CALLER: Hey, Rush, it's a distinct pleasure and honor. Hey, guys, I love the show but I have two questions. One: Why is CTO so leaky? You've got more spies in there than you can count, and two: Why have you sort of given a break to the Islamic terrorists this year?

SURNOW: Well, the first question is, why is CTU a little porous this year?

RUSH: So easy to infiltrate. The bad guys seem to get in there with ease.

SURNOW: Howard, why is that? (All laughing.)

GORDON: Well, because this is actually an intelligence gathering bunker somewhere in LA. It's a moderate level security -- only level two security facility. If it were level three it would be a lot more difficult to get through.

RUSH: Yeah.

GORDON: But --

RUSH: You know, I don't think it's that unusual. The Pentagon leaks all day long to the New York Times. The state department leaks all day to the Washington Post. I mean, nothing is secure. We can't secure the ports.

GORDON: (Laughing)

RUSH: We can't secure the southern border.

SURNOW: (Laughing)

RUSH: We can't secure CTU!

GORDON: And, you know what? Even more importantly if CTU were secure we wouldn't have an episode. (All laughing) There you go. That's the answer.

RUSH: That's the answer. Dave in Chicago, you're on with Joel Surnow and Howard Gordon of "24".

CALLER: Good afternoon, guys. Listen, I love the show. I wanted to ask real quick: Whenever one of the major characters dies, the clock at the end is silent, and I just think that's beautifully effective and I wanted to know who came up with that idea.

SURNOW: That idea actually came to us from one of our editors at the end of -- I think it was the show in season three where Jack had to kill Ryan Chappelle in cold blood as part of a deal they were making with the head terrorist in that season and it was such a powerful episode and the show ended with Jack killing Chappelle, who was a federal worker, and the show went to black and he didn't have the clink, clink, clink at the end and it was so powerful we thought we would use it and it's sort of became a staple of the show.

RUSH: It's something of a signature. Okay. Kathy in Peoria, Illinois, you're on with Joel Surnow and Howard Gordon of "24".

CALLER: Dittos, Rush, and hi, everybody. I wonder if President Logan is going to grow a spine. I'm surprised he can sit in a chair.

RUSH: Thanks, Kathy, very much. That's a great question.

SURNOW: Howard, well... You should talk about that. Um... Is Logan going to grow a spine? I will tell you that you have not seen the full, uh...

RUSH: This is a tough one for them, folks. They don't want to give anything away. It's tough.

SURNOW: Logan is an important part of the story this year. Let me just say that there are about three or four episodes in every season where something really revelatory happens and the whole story changes by 45 degrees.

RUSH: Hell, that happens four times an episode!

SURNOW: But next week's episode, which is next Monday night which is our 16th episode of the season is one of those really vital episodes and will really sort of inform the whole Logan story of the season, and... I would say that he's not without a spine. He's just --

GORDON: I would just say, "Watch next week and let's have this conversation then."

RUSH: All right. Let me ask you a question about the character, not the future, because a lot of people are curious about it. You talk about you have to have Jack have something to live for so you have some reality.

SURNOW: Right.

RUSH: And when it comes to a character like Logan I think a lot of viewers are curious. They don't know presidents intimately but they can't imagine ever having had a president that's actually that way. We may have and don't know it.

SURNOW: Right.

RUSH: So where do you get in your creative juice the idea to make a character out of a president that is that...

GORDON: Well, he was created in some ways out of the rib of David Palmer. I mean, David Palmer who was this stolid, wonderfully morally grounded character and we invented a president last year at the tail end of the year to inherit or rise to the tragedy of the President Keeler's downed Air Force One situation. We needed a president who wasn't up to the task, so he was born out of that -- out of that --

SURNOW: He's the anti-Palmer in a way.

GORDON: Yeah, really. But his character, we love the actor, loved the character, and we've gotten to know him a little bit better.

SURNOW: And to a certain agree, Greg Itzin played the character of Logan helped create this character. I mean he brought mannerisms and characteristics to his performance that we began to write to.

RUSH: Great. Here's Bill in Albuquerque, New Mexico, you're on with Joel Surnow and Howard Gordon of "24".

CALLER: Hey, Rush. Mega Air Force dittos to you.

RUSH: Thank you, sir.

CALLER: Guys, great show. My question for you is: Is there plans [sic] to the rumor that there's a movie coming out that will start out next season?

SURNOW: That rumor is true. We want to do a "24" movie. We want to write it this year and shoot it after next season's production, which would be next summer to air the following summer after that, so that would be 2008.

RUSH: 2008.

SURNOW: But, you know, we're in the very first steps of a long, long journey on this thing, and we have to basically prove it all along the way. We have to write a great script that they're going to want to make.

RUSH: How you going to do a movie of 90 minutes or two hours -- how you going to do the concept of 24 hours?

SURNOW: Well, the thought for the movie is the whole movie would take place in a 24-hour period. It wouldn't be a two-hour real time period. It would be three segments of real time in the course of one day, and this way it allows us to travel more and not be grounded in Los Angeles. We want to do a much more international story for the movie.

RUSH: Ah, so you have a plot idea!

SURNOW: Oh, we do.

RUSH: Oh, great, okay. So it's farther along than we knew. Houston, Texas and Gregg, you're on with Joel Surnow and Howard Gordon.

CALLER: Well, it's great to talk about one American show on another great American show.

RUSH: Thank you.

SURNOW: Wow.

CALLER: I had a question. Do you all ever...? I mean, all the shows seem to be sequential in each season. Do you ever plan or have the idea to go and fill in between seasons -- and this would be an opportunity to bring back, you know, favorite characters who have been killed off?

SURNOW: Well, you know, it's interesting. The "24" video game takes place between season two and season three. We do some DVD extras where we do sort of between-season story scenes that are not really full story lines, but we had originally thought of going backwards at one point in time in a season that took ten years ago in Jack Bauer's life or five years ago but that really didn't work out. The ancillary things are, you know, we now have comic books, video games and things like that that are mining some of that territory.

RUSH: Okay, guys, look, I know you have to run. I want to thank all of you who called with questions. They were great questions. Thanks so much for coming by here. You guys are -- in your business, the entertainment business -- you're making history with your format, with your writing, production values and so forth, and I don't know if you have time to reflect on it because you're too busy doing it. So I wanted to pass on to you my thoughts on that and how great it is, as somebody who... I just marvel at creativity and the way you keep exceeding everybody's expectations is profound. You've got a great show and we're happy to have had you here.

SURNOW: Thank you for having us on, Rush.

RUSH: Joel Surnow and Howard Gordon from "24".

END TRANSCRIPT

The Million Dollar Question

2006-03-29T10:34:00.000-05:00

At 12:01 pm, I shall reach the pinnacle of my twenties. Youth wanes and reality dominates. It's as if you are living unscathed and then suddenly you feel old. Granted, I know 25 is not the end of the world; however, it's when I truly give consideration to the changes that have happened and need to happen that I notice how differently I am.

For instance...

Music can be too loud
I refer to anyone under 23 as a "kid"
"Back in the day" and "Remember when" have comfortably found way into my
conversations
Many high schoolers and college students annoy the crap out of me
I think about what I'm eating and how it's going to affect my health 10 years from now
My to do list consists of "get cholesterol checked" and "go to the gym"
I have a budget and a 401k
My tax return is more than $5
Joints crack like I'm crumbling into a heap
When there is a significant weather change, I can literally feel it in my bones
After reviewing my family history I realize that my estimated life expectancy is 35
I hesitate changing my career because I don't want to lose my benefits

Food for thought...

Since entering the 1st grade a schedule of sorts had been set. Every August I knew school was in session for the next nine months, then there was summer break, then back to school. This repeated for 17 years. I knew what to expect in an upcoming semester. I trudged or skipped happily through ready to complete another phase of life. Biting at the bit to move on with the real world...Now I feel weird because there isn't that end in sight. I find myself living for 4:30 pm or my next adventurous trip. Other than that, I almost feel lost without that something to work for. So, I'm trying to figure out what new goals I want to set. The hard part is not having the boundaries and expectations of finishing them on someone else's schedule, but on my own. (Because that requires discipline...hahaha.) I find myself ecstatic and a bit frightened. I don't want to default to continued education just to fill the "void" and supposedly make myself feel better. This is the time to sieze my dreams. What in the world should I do?

In spite of it all, I am delighted to be alive! Never would I have thought that the experiences in my life would bring me to the place I am now. I am truly blessed.