Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Finally, we can easily add pictures.



Here are some pics from Jim's lake house a couple of weeks ago. It was loverly.

Monday, June 27, 2005

The beach is --> that way.

Brad and I went to the beach after church yesterday. It was fantastic.

Remind me why there isn't an ocean in IL. It's really a nice commodity that would probably increase property value. You guys should look into it.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

It was a day I began like any other. Quite relaxed with my pace of preparation, I meandered casually to my car and started an early morning commute to work. Quite bored out of my skull by 10:30 a.m. I perfected my Bejeweled 2 skills in a 20 minute game that I magnificently completed with a 4 1/2 star rating and 1,005,000 points. It's okay, you can be impressed.

The morning eventually shifted to afternoon. A gorgeous day of warmth and breeze, emphasized by the lengthy sunlight; for the first day of summer is the longest day of the year. A fantastic, splitting headache quickly over-road my system. Staring intensly at my computer monitor caused a pain likened to nails slamming through my eyes and shoving the round masses of fluid deeply and upward into my frontal lobe.

My evening was to include friends and tacos, a combination worthy of any excitement one can conjure in such aforementioned circumstances. Any who know me well know that on a good day my best suit may not be impromptu speech. Surely, pen and paper is more to my liking. I am forced to think thoroughly prior to inscription thus weeding out unecessary commentary or insults. On a bad day, all reasoning is shot and mostly worthless as I have none. This particular night was such a day.

Stephanie stood to refill her plate. The burrito style shells proved to be filling and one more stuffed to brim would be an unappealing amount; however, said shell cut in half would be ever delightful. She returned to the table and began folding her creation which I found astonishing and intriguing. Enough so that I spoke up, "Oh that is fu...(small laugh)...I was about to tell you that looked funny and cute at the same time. Silly me, fucute!" (Long emphasis on the "fu") And then I realized my ignorance. My lack of zest. My blonde moment. Not only did I stop myself once - as I knew enough about what was to come from my lips to be nonsensical - but I went ahead and said it, loudly, and hilariously made a fool of myself. Classic.

So there it is. Fucute is not a word, but it sounds like another.

And people actually trust me with their children.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

I caught you a sweet bass.

I posted new pictures today during our Deep Sea Fishing adventures. The captain nicknamed me "Slayer" because I was certainly a fishing monster...the mackrel didn't stand a chance with me on the surface! Muhahahahaha.

Unfortunately, our trip was cut short because Taewon (my boss - aka Todd) was hosting an intense ping pong tournament at 1. My mackrels were live bait for the Stripers. Poor little guys didn't know what was coming.

Here's a mad prop to myself for eating freshly fileted raw fish on the boat.

Here's to the chain-smoking man who cut it so well.

Here's to Duke for catching a 28" Striper Bass.

Here's to Brad for getting crabs...

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Give a Penny. Take a Penny.

Tyler, I will be attempting your credits in this post. It is more difficult than I anticipated and I probably made several mistakes. For those who don't know what I speak of, Tyler would like each of us to try referring to each cent as a credit. So one dollar is actually 100 credits. Supposedly this could sweep the nation and I'm just trying to do my part.

Most convenient stores, gas stations, and occassional restaurants have a register clad with a free penny dish. As I approach the counter to make my purchase, inevitably within my reach is a random collection of change customers past have given to me, a fellow contributor to the business we both frequent, and to others who may stumble upon the need for a few cents here, five pennies there.

Here we are instructed, "Give a penny. Take a penny."

Okay. What does that statement mean? Do I have to give a penny to that establishment before I am allowed to take one at another time? That is what I am prompted to believe - as though I have to earn my right to borrow. But what if it's a different cashier this time? He doesn't know that I left 34 credits last Tuesday. For all he knows, I could be a penny free loader - never carrying around change because I know that someone else made a contribution out of the goodness of their heart and it is my duty to abuse their gift.

So how about that goodness? I must be honest, the only reason I would ever drop credits in the jar is not for the next person walking in the door who wants that thirst-clenching drink but forgot to factor in taxes...I'm putting 47 credits in that glass holder because I don't want the annoyance of loose, clashing quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket. Besides, it makes me feel lopsided.

And then I'd like to think the cashier will find me extra nice if I drop in 98 credits. "Wow! Quarters! She's especially nice!"

There is another problem. Some places have tip jars that may or may not be labeled as such. After working at Einstein's I realize that for some dumb reason people tip at coffeehouses. WHY? The drinks already cost an arm and a leg and the employees are making at least minimum wage. We aren't waiters people. That's our job - make drinks, take money, pretend that it is fabulous, and make an extra 1000 credits a night off people who don't know any better. Anyway, the actual problem: what if I reach in and take money from someone's tip jar? It would be funny, I suppose.

Something I learned from that extra pocket cash at the coffeehouse, is that it adds up very quickly. So why not go around to each of these places and clean them out of their spare change? I'd have my trip to Italy paid for in no time. Would they really stop you from reaching in and taking? I don't know, I have not tried.

What it actually comes down to is this...I don't have the guts. I never feel right about fishing around for that exact change. I'm holding a 1000 credits (bill) so I technically have enough to purchase my sandwich. And I always feel rushed with the cashier's open hand reaching in my direction seemingly ticking down the seconds it takes for me to finalize my decision: hand him the 1000 credit bill and deal or get 3 pennies from the jar so I walk out with 700 credits in bills?

It's an issue, a strange one at that.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Going Up?

There is some sort of compliment experienced when you discover you have been linked to someone's blog. It's like you are part of their life somehow...ego boosted.

Although attention is drawn, mostly because you are oddly amused by reading your name on the internet and you find yourself quite overjoyed that this person would find you worthy of being named on their short list of fellow writing artists, your heart is thwarted and you experience a deafening blow when you realize your name is not at the top...not even close to the top. How did that guy get his name up there? Bob only talked to him when he had something in his teeth...ego busted.

Well look, link to Sally's blog and there is your name high on the charts and even before her best friend's name...ego boosted!

Of course, there are some people (cough - John) who simply ignore your request of being added...ego busted.

Shocked, you find that there are some people you hardly know, but obviously respect your chosen friends and writing style enough to add your name to their list...ego boosted.

Then there are the people you just smirk at. I mean really, do they not know we have them figured out? They are the people pleasers -- put the names in alphabetical order and no one gets their feelings hurt. WRONG! Poor Zach Zibberman has been the final name in every roll call since Kindergarten...he just can't win...ego busted.

And then there is Lindy. She merely lists the names according to how often the other person blogs. Not based on their writing style or whether she really likes them or not. So, if you are at the bottom of her list...it's because you are only a blogger by name, not by lifestyle. Step it up a notch and you'll climb the ladder.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Little things about me

I have been catching myself doing certain things...the little quirky things about me that could send someone up the wall or merely set me apart from the next guy. So here are a few I've come up with.

- Everytime I walk into my office I go by a desk lined with keyboards. There is one keyboard in particular that catches my attention as the buttons appear soft to the touch. So, without fail, as I meander through the building and pass the desk, I reach out with my right hand and tap the 8, 5, and 2 keys on the number pad.

- I exclaim, "Slip and Slide!" everytime I see a good hill.

- Whenever I'm in a car that is cruising through a yellow light, I tap the ceiling twice with my pointer, middle and ring fingers.

- I always brush my teeth before washing my face.

- I literally cannot talk if I'm sitting on my hands.

- Order my fries and bacon "extra-crispy."

- If I have ice in my drink, I don't like there to be more than three pieces.

- Turn my pop tab 90 degrees to the right side.

- Scrunch my toilet paper.

- Will identify any physical location as "Guam." Especially if I cannot recall its actual name.

- Get physically ill at the sight of wet hair in my sink or tub drain.

- Eat my ice cream slowly - unconsciously loading each spoonful and then taking little bits off at a time - savoring the experience for as long as possible, yet managing to do so before the dairy product melts.

- Always play ping pong with the red side of my paddle facing my opponent.

- I'm always moving, whether I'm dancing to get to the other side of the room or shaking my leg as I sit in a chair.

- Automatically begin playing "He Hideth My Soul" the moment I sit down at a piano.

- Conintue referring to my little brother as "Jeffrey" even though he has been "Jeff" to everyone else for years.

- Talk out loud whenever I'm alone. Often times making up songs that correlate with my surroundings.

- Immediately remove my shoes when I get to work.

- Take days psyching myself into hauling my laundry to the basement and just as long to put all the clean clothes away.

- Read the first 30 pages of a book and open another to read 30 pages of to find another....

- Everytime I say, "Look at the sky!" Whoever is with me scans the area and asks, "What guy?" Did I stutter?

- Wave at construction workers as I pass them.

- I never drink coffee the same way twice. I never measure the contents I add. I never know if it tastes differently than the cup preceding it.

- I really hate talking on the phone, but require a 900 minute phone plan because I'm always talking on the phone.

- Remember specific details of my dreams the next day. For some odd reason, feel the need to share those details even though dreams are not interesting to anyone other than the person who had them. So don't tell me about your dream unless I'm in it or unless you think it would be significant to me.

- Very rarely do my feet touch the ground in a restaurant booth. Hence requiring me to sit Indian style or stretched out to the opposite bench.

- As children eating dinner, my father would constantly wipe our "sticky fingers" with a wet washcloth. As a result, I now eat every meal with a napkin crunched up in my left hand. Not that I use it. And a paper towel is too big.

- And finally, because I've had enough self-reflection for one day, I have a song or movie quote pop into my head for just about anything.